Winning in Life--How to Hit the Target Every Time!

We are often told to aim high in life, but we must aim at what we would hit instead.  A general purpose is not enough.  The arrow shot from the bow does not wander around to see what it can hit on its way, but flies straight to the mark. ~Og Mandino

We can aim for the stars, but without clear vision and focus, our energies will be scattered.  What are we really reaching or aiming for anyway?  That is something we must decide for ourselves.  And once we do, we can make plans on how to attain our goals.  All the while, we keep our focus on the specific purpose for which we envision and aspire toward.  Suppose, for example, that you decide to go to college.  A general goal may be to lose some weight and get into shape and/or to change our eating habits.  That is a great aim and desire, but it will remain just that until it is made more specific with some steps we can take with short-term and long-term goals.  Once we decide on what specific plan or progam we would like to use, we will begin to have a clearer focus and vision for our future.  Another general goal may be to earn a college degree.  To make it more targeted we would have to decide on a career path we would like to take and the type of degree we would like to earn. 

It is much more motivating, attainable, and fulfilling to aim at something specific rather than at a random target.  It is empowering and keeps us active participants in our life purpose and destiny rather than just hoping that someday things will just fall into place or waiting for opportunity to come knocking at the door.  The truth is, we have to knock on the door of opportunity for ourselves.  When we realize this and the responsibility we hold, we will endure; we will perseverance; we will keep focused and concentrate because we know what we want and where we are going.  Challenges will present themselves to us and we will be ready.  Our eyes will be set on the goal.  We will aim toward it and continue to move forward until it is attained.  This is the most effective approach to successfully reaching our goals. And it is sound advice inspired by one of the greatest inspirational writers I respect and admire, Og Mandino!

Copyright © 2011 Krystal Kuehn. All Rights Reserved.



An archer cannot hit the bullseye if he doesn't know where the target is. ~Anonymous


You can't hit a target you cannot see, and you cannot see a target you do not have. ~Zig Ziglar The establishment of a clear, central purpose or goal in life is the starting point of all success. ~Brian Tracy

Our goals can only be reached through a vehicle of a plan, in which we must fervently believe, and upon which we must vigorously act. There is no other route to success. ~Stephen A. Brennan



Decide what you want, decide what you are willing to exchange for it. Establish your priorities and go to work." H. L. Hungt


People with goals succeed because they know where they're going. ~Earl Nightingale I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination. ~Jimmy Dean


Without goals and plans to reach them, you are like a ship that has set sail with no destination. ~Fitzhugh Dodson


First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do." Epictetus



Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC is a licensed professional counselor, author, teacher, and musician. She specializes in helping people live their best life now, reach their full potential, overcome barriers, heal from their past, and develop a lifestyle of health, happiness, and love. Krystal is the cofounder of NewDayCounseling.org, a family counseling center, specializing in helping individuals, couples and families with professional counseling services for relationship problems, parenting issues, depression, anxiety as well a s substance abuse classes, anger management groups, and more. Krystal is also cofounder of BeHappy4Life.com as well as Facebook.com/WordsOfInspiration and several blogs.

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Suicide Prevention: Is Suicide Right for Me?

This thought-provoking article Is Suicide Right for Me? is written by Micheal Petipren.  It is his reaction and  personal response to Stop Suicide Song Video.  We hope you enjoy it!  If you have any thoughts, articles, comments or personal response to the music video, we encourage you to share it with us.  You can email us at:  contactbehappy@behappy4life.com
**See reader response to Is Suicide Right for Me? after article below.

Very young children are borne with happiness being a neo-natal distinguishing feature. Only until they begin to react within their milieu, through maturation, do they begin to lose their joy and freedom of expression. As they grow and become molded by their interactions with their surroundings, conflict begins to have an effect. It is conflict that blemishes the free spirit of youth. Behavioral problems start to surface and chip away at their well-being and sense of morality.

During adolescence, personality, self-identity, beliefs, self-image, self-esteem and their place in the world etc., start to come into focus. It is at this time that many people start to develop difficulties with the general challenges of living a happy, well-adjusted life. Their general coping skills, which are so very important in dealing with the ups and downs of daily living, may escape them. Life’s problems may often become monolithic to them at times. Perhaps their most basic problems may center on their subjective perception of their own body and personality (self-image) as well as their personal self-worth as viewed by others (self-esteem.)

Self-image and self-esteem can be considered the basis of many difficulties. Without a positive view of one’s self, self-acceptance, love of self and others, creativity, happiness, self-contentment, self-confidence etc., a person is likely to experience problems with daily living. At this time, happiness may have abandoned the individual and escaped. The ground-work has now been laid for the individual to recapture his lost happiness.

The literature is filled with books on happiness and how to go about achieving its capture. Upon review of what has been published concerning happiness, one is struck with how many times biblical scripture and the word “God” are mentioned! The general theme makes it apparent that it is very important to have faith in God in striving for happiness. Even the avowed atheist, Bertrand Russell, was once quoted stating: “Unless you assume a God, the question of life’s purpose is meaningless.”

When God gave Moses the Ten Commandments in Exodus, included in them was Commandment Number Six which stated: “You shall not murder.” This directive from God also included personal murder, i.e. Suicide. It is at this point that one must consider the topic of this essay: “Is Suicide Right For Me?” Before you make the fatal mistake of taking your own life, ask yourself the following questions:

(1) Could I be so depressed, and filled with so much personal disparagement, so as to surrender my God-given immortal soul to an eternity we do not understand?

(2) What would be the fate and grief of those left behind who loved me so very much?

(3) Am I so completely abandoned by my “significant other” and my “support group” that there is no hope left?

(4) Have I made a sedulous effort to seek professional help to find the correct medication, compatible with my system, and adhere religiously to my doctor’s recommendations?

(5) Am I fully aware how vital it is to love God, respect myself, love my neighbor and live the life emblematic of the happy person God meant me to be?

It seems evident that there are resolutions to deal with the fate of self-destruction brought about through suicide. If the individual were able to scuttle “negative self-talk” and replace it with “positive affirmations”, their depression might hopefully start to abate. Granted, there is no easy quick-fix to turn around depressive thoughts into the realm of positive thinking along with a good well balanced self -love. Hopefully you will conclude that: SUICIDE IS NOT RIGHT FOR YOU—or for anybody else for that matter!

Copyright © 2011 Michael Petipren.  All Rights Reserved.

Please take a moment to watch the video and listen to Would You Still Do It. This very moving, passionate suicide song for suicide prevention is a reminder that although you may have felt or said I want to die, there is hope no matter how hopeless it seems; there is healing no matter how much it hurts; there are people who really do care and want to help. *If you or someone you know is depressed, suicidal, or engaged in self-destructive behaviors, please get help today. 1-800-273-TALK (8255) Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. ~Anonymous

 
READER RESPONSE:

This really covers all the bases - no self-esteem, complete despair, no hope their circumstances will improve, no joy left in life. The caregivers should encourage “baby-steps” (taking one day at a time) as thoughts of the future are frightening (what if things don’t get better) and long-term goals are impossible. Each day completed is a victory in the fight to stay positive. Belief in a loving God and prayer is huge. The sufferer has lost all faith in themselves and their power to solve their problems and needs to believe in a supreme being that is in control of all things and has a plan for us. But the fear of punishment in the afterlife isn’t enough to keep someone from harming themselves. They justify death as relief from immediate suffering (which is the ultimate goal) – and will risk the unknown of death in order to escape the here and now. They just want the pain to stop. Help them to see that they are not alone and that none of us in control of anything. They must understand that we are ALL vulnerable to the stress of life and they are not singled out. The average person seems okay on the outside but if you talk to them, you find out different. Perception is reality but it is often a false reality. They also believe everyone else would be so much better off without them. They see themselves as a burden on their loved ones and on society. Many are afraid to talk about their feelings for fear they will end up medicated in a stress center. My opinion is to continue the daily routine if at all possible – even if it is a struggle. Go to work, go to the grocery store, cook dinner, go to the gym, stay in the world of the living. Those who retreat to their beds with pills don’t get better – they get consumed with loneliness and isolation. Their feelings of failure are magnified with nothing else to get their attention. Giving the person a feeling of being productive is therapeutic for me. Even if you don’t accomplish much – you survived another day – and with each passing day, things can change for the better.  (submitted on September 6, 2011 by Anonymous)

Self-Acceptance - Being Free to be Me

To find the good life you must become yourself. ~ Dr. Bill Jackson

We all want to be liked by others. We want to be accepted for who we are, and we want to feel free to be our genuine selves around them. But sometimes we feel pressured to live up to a certain image or expectation of what we think will please or impress others. So we try to become someone we are not. And we might even compromise our values and beliefs to receive the approval we seek.

Joann was a small town, country girl who dreamed about living in the big city. She got her chance when she was accepted to a well-known university. She wanted to make a positive impression and thought by changing her style she would fit in better. So, she bought a few expensive designer brand outfits even though she actually preferred wearing her comfortable, faded blue jeans and t-shirts. Eventually, she started feeling like a real phony. She didn’t like pretending to be someone she was not and she decided to just be herself. To her surprise she soon met some really nice friends who liked her style and personality, and truly liked her for who she was.

Not everyone will like us for who we are. And that’s okay. We don’t have to live our life to please people. We can be free to have our own opinions, interests, convictions, and style. And those who truly like us will respect our individuality and let us be ourselves. They will like and accept us for who we are.


Affirmations:

I do not have to pretend I am someone I am not in order to be happy with myself.

I will PRACTICE self-acceptance today…by being my genuine self, accepting who I am, and not trying to change for the acceptance from others.


Empowering Thoughts:

About all you can do in life is be who you are. Some people will love you for you. Most will love you for what you can do for them, and some won’t like you at all. ~Rita Mae Brown

I am what I am, so take me as I am! ~Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval. ~Mark Twain

All the discontented people I know are trying to be something they are not, to do something they cannot do. ~David Grayson

For real self esteem is not derived from the great things you've done, the things you won, the mark you've made, but an appreciation of yourself for what you are. ~Maxwell Max

It is necessary to the happiness of a man that he be mentally faithful to himself. ~ E. Cummings

Our entire life, with our fine moral code and our precious freedom, consists ultimately in accepting ourselves as we are. ~- Jean Anouilh

My definition of success is total self acceptance. We can obtain all of the material possessions we desire quite easily, however, attempting to change our deepest thoughts and learning to love ourselves is a monumental challenge. ~ Franki




Copyright © 2011 NewDayCounseling.org All Rights Reserved.


Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC is a licensed professional counselor, author, teacher, and musician. She specializes in helping people live their best life now, reach their full potential, overcome barriers, heal from their past, and develop a lifestyle of health, happiness, and love. Krystal is the cofounder of New Day Counseling, a family couples counseling and child adolescent counseling center, StopSuicideSong.com, and BeHappy4Life.com, an award-winning self-improvement and personal growth site where you can find hundreds of free resources, online workshops, video presentations, insights, and inspiration.

New Day Counseling is a family counseling center that provides professional counseling services for the entire family. We help parents, children, teens, families, individuals and couples. We offer couples therapy / marriage counseling, child therapy, adolescent counseling, anxiety counseling, depression counseling, divorce counseling, grief counseling, porn addiction counseling, substance abuse counseling. We also offer groups for anger counseling. Go to NewDayCounseling.org today for more information or call us at 248-649-8050. We are here to help, and we look forward to hearing from you.

Put an end to anger problems & regain control over your life today. Anger management classes help for personal, court, and business. For more info go to newdaycounseling.org or call 248-649-8050 to register today. * Anger management groups and/or individual anger counseling can be extremely supportive and helpful in equipping us with many tools for a better life.

Are you experiencing addiction or substance use that is impacting your daily life? You are not alone! There are many people struggling with substance abuse and addiction! There are also many people who recover and live a drug free lifestyle. Come join our 6 week substance abuse group to discover the pathway to freedom! One Day at A Time! For substance abuse group and/or individual substance abuse counseling, call or visit us today.


Love and Logic Parenting Classes help you with the most important job there is! You can learn practical tools & techniques for effective discipline, better communication, appropriate boundaries, healthy decision-making, & respectful adult-child relationships. Workshops are available at New Day Counseling in Troy. For more information or to register online go to: Love and Logic Parenting Class or call 248-649-8050.

Self-Esteem Group for Teen Girls (ages 13-17)
Teen girls learn to feel empowered, gain self-awareness, develop positive coping, and improve daily problem-solving skills. Through G.I.R.L.S. (Girls in Real Life Situations) counseling curriculum, group discussion, and fun activities, girls will learn more about themselves and be better equipped to handle Real Life Situations. Call 248-649-8050 today to register. For more information about this teen group, click here. We also provide individual teenage counseling.



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4 Tips to a Happy, Healthy Body for Life

Happiness lies, first of all, in health. ~George William Curtis

Just imagine for a moment what life would be like if each individual on earth were allowed to own just one automobile per lifetime. Do you think you would be more motivated to take better care of your vehicle-getting routine tune-ups and oil changes, rotating tires, keeping it clean, and so forth? Some of us might have a very different attitude about it altogether. We might take our responsibility to care for it more seriously. And we would most likely appreciate and cherish it much more.

Fortunately, most of us are not limited to owning just one vehicle per lifetime so we don't have to be overly concerned with proper maintenance and care. But, how about our bodies? We can't trade them in for another model. And some parts can't be replaced. When something goes wrong we do what we can to fix it. We own it for life. And it's up to us to take proper care of what we have. The truth is, however, many people neglect proper nutrition and diet. They don't exercise consistently. And they don't make relaxation a priority. So their bodies get run down. They become more susceptible to illness. They get tired and end up having to work harder to keep themselves going.

Most would agree that they could do a better job in taking care of themselves. Oftentimes they know what needs to be done. There is a lot we can do to be our best-to look our best and to feel our best. When we take steps to take care of ourselves physically it also affects our mental and emotional well-being. Our body and mind work together. Our energy is increased as we make positive changes in improving our health. And our attitude and self-esteem is improved as we like the changes we see and feel.

So what is it that keeps people from taking better care of their bodies? For one, it is hard work. Making it a disciplined lifestyle takes motivation and commitment. But it can be done if you will take it one day at a time. Following are some tips to help you develop a healthier lifestyle:


* Begin with short-term goals. Be realistic in your expectations. Small changes over time result in big changes in the long run. Be patient and learn to appreciate and celebrate small victories.


* Picture yourself the way you would want to be. If it is a possibility then it's a matter of doing what needs to be done. Start by believing you can do it. Having faith that it can happen is essential. It keeps you going when you want to give up.


* Find an accountability partner. Having someone to whom you can report how you are doing keeps you motivated. This person can help keep you on track and remind you of the progress you're making when you don't see it. A partner who shares your goals and will join you in achieving them can be especially helpful.


* Establish a routine and be consistent. A new habit can take about six weeks to become a part of your lifestyle. If you have a setback, don't give up. Get back on track as soon as possible. Begin again by setting goals, visualizing your success, believing for it and taking action.

Lifestyle changes don't happen overnight. Whether or not you begin today, three months from now will still come. You can be that much closer to your goals. You can be the best you can be if you make it a priority. How important is your body to you? Are you satisfied with how you are caring for it? How could your life be better if you were to make some changes? You have one body for life. What you do with it now will have lasting results.


Fitness--If it came in a bottle, everybody would have it. ~Cher



Take care of your body with steadfast fidelity. The soul must see through these eyes alone, and if they are dim, the whole world is clouded.  ~Goethe


Health is the thing that makes you feel that now is the best time of the year. ~ Franklin P. Adams


Physical fitness is not only one of the most important keys to a healthy body, it is the basis of dynamic and creative intellectual activity ~ John Fitzgerald Kennedy


Learn to relax. Your body is precious, as it houses your mind and spirit. Inner peace begins with a relaxed body. ~ Norman Vincent Peale




Copyright © 2007 Krystal Kuehn BeHappyforLife.com, NewDayCounseling.org
Maximum Potential, LLC. All Rights Reserved.



Free Ebook Download: Training & Nutrition Insider Secrets for a Lean Body click here



Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC is a professional counselor, author, teacher & musician. She is the cofounder of New Day Counseling, a family marriage counseling & individual and couples counseling center and BeHappy4Life.com, an award-winning, self-help and inspirational site where you can find hundreds of free resources, insights & inspiration.





The BeHappy4Life mission is to empower people to develop a lifestyle of health, happiness & love with self-help tools, activities, resources, insights & inspiration that will change your life.





New Day Counseling provides professional counseling services for individuals, couples, and the entire family. We specialize in all areas of mental health and well-being including depression counseling, anxiety counseling, alcohol addiction counseling, eating addictions, substance and sexual abuse, porn addiction counseling, divorce counseling, grief counseling. We also offer anger counseling groups and parenting classes. Go to NewDayCounseling.org today for more information or call us at 248-649-8050. We are here to help, and we look forward to hearing from you.