4 Simple Steps to a New Perspective & Better Attitude

Recently I had to take on a new responsibility that I was not very pleased with. Actually, I had a bad attitude about it. Once I realized that nothing was going to change unless I did, I decided to change my perspective. I thought about this quote: 

I can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses. It's all how you look at it. J. Kenfield Morley

I decided that I was not going to complain, but instead, I was going to do something about it. This is what I chose to do and it has given me a new and positive perspective:

1. Stop dwelling on what we do not like or wish was different.  Focusing on everything wrong and frustrating about a situation quickly leads to complaining.  We can refocus.

2. Accept what we cannot change. When there is nothing we can do to change things, there is no point in getting all upset.  It only drains our energy which can be better used in finding healthy ways to cope.

3. Change what we can change.  Our actions, attitude, and perspective are all in our control.  When we begin to look at the good things in an unpleasant situation, we may be surprised that we are able to identify some benefits.

4. Choose to have a good attitude.  A good attitude keeps us from focusing on what we do not like or want. Instead, we can think about how we can make the best of the situation and deal with it better. We may find that we can still be happy even when things do not go our way. And, we do not have to give in to feelings of frustration and discontentment.


The power of perspective is amazing. It can completely change our attitude and mood. We have the freedom to choose what we think and focus on. I hope this reminds you to see the good in today.


Today is a New Day and it is good, Krystal

For more on perspective, check out this fun page:
Practice Happiness with a New Perspective


 Just for today, no matter where I am going, or what I am doing, or who I am doing it with, it is my intention to focus on the positive. ~Lucy MacDonald

Copyright © 2007 BeHappy4Life.com. All Rights Reserved





Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC is a professional counselor, author, teacher & musician. She is the cofounder of New Day Counseling, a family marriage counseling & individual and couples counseling center and BeHappy4Life.com, an award-winning, self-help and inspirational site where you can find hundreds of free resources, insights & inspiration.


The BeHappy4Life mission is to empower people to develop a lifestyle of health, happiness & love with self-help tools, activities, resources, insights & inspiration that will change your life.



New Day Counseling provides professional counseling services for individuals, couples, and the entire family. We specialize in all areas of mental health and well-being including depression counseling, anxiety counseling, alcohol addiction counseling, eating addictions, substance and sexual abuse, porn addiction counseling, divorce counseling, grief counseling. We also offer anger counseling groups and parenting classes. Go to NewDayCounseling.org today for more information or call us at 248-649-8050. We are here to help, and we look forward to hearing from you.



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Are You Master or Victim of Your Attitude?

We are either the masters or the victims of our attitudes. It is a matter of personal choice. Who we are today is the result of choices we made yesterday. Tomorrow, we will become what we choose today. To change means to choose to change. ~John Maxwell

What kind of thoughts come to your mind when you think about your life? How about your family, your work, your future? Suppose your thoughts could change your destiny. Would you want to change or improve any of them?

We might believe our thoughts just happen, and we don’t consider the fact that we can choose to stop certain thoughts and refocus. We can choose what we accept and meditate on, and we can choose what we resist and reject. Our thoughts shape the attitudes that direct our lives. We make decisions based on our attitudes and beliefs.

Thoughts lead to other related thoughts. When they are hopeful and positive, we develop a good attitude. Likewise, a bad attitude results when a habit of negative thoughts dominate our thinking. For example, suppose you feel hurt that your friend didn’t come to your birthday party. You might begin to think that it is because it isn't important to her. That thought may lead you to wonder if she really likes you. Maybe you did something to offend her. Maybe there is something wrong with you. You feel angry and rejected. You dwell on the offense and have a bad attitude. If you hold on to it, feelings of rejection may lead to bitterness toward your friend.  It may even lead to a desire for retaliation.  It is common to reject others when we feel rejected.

Hurt and angry feelings affect our choices and attitudes. We might not be able to control how we feel, but we can control how we direct our thoughts. Suppose you were to stop the negative cycle after feeling hurt by your friend. There could be many good reasons why she wasn't able to join you. Maybe it had nothing to do with you.  You can choose to not take it personal if you know she wouldn't intentionally want to hurt you.  You can choose to not dwell on the offense and negative feelings. You can refocus. If it really bothers you, talk to her about it.  In doing so, you just may find out that you had the wrong idea all along.  This happened to a woman I know.  She never received the invitation sent by her friend.  It was somehow lost in the mail.  Her friend assumed she got the invitation and chose not to come.  It was months until she discovered why her friend had a bad attitude and pulled away from her. 

Our thinking patterns become habits and attitudes. Optimism and pessimism are the result of the kinds of thoughts we choose to dominate our thought life and perspective. If we were to live by these words of wisdom, we would spare ourselves of the negativity that keeps us from fulfilling our potential and purpose: Fill your mind and meditate on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. (Philippians 4:8).

We can choose to occupy our minds with the best in people or situations, rather than the worst. We can choose to see the beauty and splendor of every rose rather than its thorns and ugliness. We can notice and praise what is right and good rather than dwell on mistakes or problems. We can hold on to hope rather than submit to despair. We can appreciate and embrace what we have and all that is before us rather than live in regret of the past. We can choose to live today as best as we can because that is all we have right now.

Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference. ~Winston Churchill

The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes of mind. ~~ William James

It’s your choice: you can either count your blessings or recount your disappointments. ~Jim Gallery

We shouldn’t deny the pain of what happens in our lives.  But, we should refuse to focus only on the valleys. ~Charles Swindoll

Pain is inevitable, but misery is optional. ~Max Lucado

 

Copyright © 2008, 2010 BeHappy4Life.com  All Rights Reserved.


Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC is a psychotherapist, author, teacher & musician. She is the cofounder of New Day Counseling, a family couples counseling and child teen counseling center, BeHappy4Life.com, an award-winning, self-help and inspirational site where you can find hundreds of free resources, insights & words of inspiration to change your life, and Baby-Poems.com where you can find beautiful baby poems, baby quotes, cute sayings & baby videos that will touch your heart & increase your joy & gratitude for the children you love & enjoy! Check out Krystal's other blogs: Give Thanks Journal, Baby Poems & Be Your Best blog.



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Optimism - Simply a Good Attitude

We are either the masters or the victims of our attitudes. It is a matter of personal choice. Who we are today is the result of choices we made yesterday. Tomorrow, we will become what we choose today. To change means to choose to change. ~John Maxwell

What kind of thoughts come to your mind when you think about your life? How about your family, your work, your future? Suppose your thoughts could change your destiny. Would you want to change or improve any of them?

We might believe our thoughts just happen, and we do not consider the fact that we can choose to stop certain thoughts and refocus. We can choose what we accept and meditate on, and we can choose what we resist and reject. Our thoughts shape the attitudes that direct our lives. We make decisions based on our attitudes and beliefs.

Thoughts lead to other related thoughts. When they are hopeful and positive, we develop a good attitude. Likewise, a bad attitude results when a habit of negative thoughts dominate our thinking. For example, suppose you feel hurt that your friend did not invite you to lunch. You might begin to think that it is because she does not want you to come. That thought may lead to you wondering if she really likes you. Maybe you did something wrong. Maybe there is something wrong with you. You feel angry and rejected. You dwell on the offense and have a bad attitude. If you hold on to it, it might come out as rejection and bitterness toward your friend.

Hurt and angry feelings affect our choices and attitudes. We might not be able to control how we feel, but we can control how we direct our thoughts. Suppose you were to stop the negative cycle after feeling hurt that you were not invited. There could be many good reasons why your friend did not ask you to join her. Maybe she just wanted to go alone and it had nothing to do with you. You would have liked to go, but it is okay. You can choose to not dwell on the offense and negative feelings. You can refocus. Forgive and release it. If need be, talk to her about it.

Our thinking patterns become habits and attitudes. Optimism and pessimism are the result of the kinds of thoughts we choose to dominate our thought life and perspective. If we were to live by these words of wisdom, we would spare ourselves of the negativity that keeps us from fulfilling our potential and purpose: Fill your mind and meditate on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. (Philippians 4:8).

We can choose to occupy our minds with the best in people or situations, rather than the worst. We can choose to see the beauty and splendor of every rose rather than its thorns and ugliness. We can notice and praise what is right and good rather than dwell on mistakes or problems. We can hold on to hope rather than submit to despair. We can appreciate and embrace what we have and all is before us rather than live in regret of the past. We can choose to live today as best as we can because that is all we have right now.

It is your choice: you can either count your blessings or recount your disappointments. ~Jim Gallery

We should not deny the pain of what happens in our lives.
But, we should refuse to focus only on the valleys. ~Charles Swindoll

Pain is inevitable, but misery is optional. ~Max Lucado

Copyright © 2009 BeHappy4Life.com,
written by Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC
NewDayCounseling.org

You Can Succeed with Love

I recently came across an old classic called The Greatest Salesman in the World. It addresses what I strongly believe in: the keys to real joy, successful relationships, and a fulfilling life. It begins with the importance of habits. Good habits are essential to all success. We all have bad habits we've developed, but we can replace them with good habits and change our lives! Following is a short excerpt from Scroll II. If you want the answers to the questions listed, check out the book. It's enjoyable, captivating, and empowering. Krystal


I will greet this day with love in my heart. How will I do this?

Henceforth will I look on all things with love and I will be born again. I will love the sun for it warms my bones; yet I will love the rain for it cleanses my spirit. I will love the light for it shows me the way; yet I will love the darkness for it shows me the stars. I will welcome happiness for it enlarges my heart; yet I will endure sadness for it opens my soul. I will acknowledge rewards for they are my due; yet I will welcome obstacles for they are my challenge.

How will I speak?
How will I act?
How will I react to the actions of others?
How will I confront each whom I meet?
How will I love myself?

If I have no other qualities I can succeed with love alone. Without it I will fail though I possess all the knowledge and skills of the world.

I will greet this day with love and I will succeed.


excerpt from the remarkable book:
The Greatest Salesman in the World by Og Mandino