We Can Live Above Problems

I am thankful that we can live above problems.

I notice that dwelling on problems makes them seem bigger than they really are. Molehills look like insurmountable mountains. Delays suddenly appear as dead ends. Annoyances are interpreted as personal attacks. We can make ourselves miserable by focusing on what is wrong, uncomfortable or frustrating. Having learned how quickly this causes me to lose my joy and peace of mind, I make it a point to refocus as quickly as I can on possibilities and positive outcomes. I can cope with the molehills. I can see myself on the other side of the mountain. Delays may test my patience, but I can pass this test. They might motivate me to make alternate plans. I can recall times when delays have turned out to be blessings in disguise. Annoyances do not have to spoil my mood or bring out the worst in me. Some people get so upset if a driver cuts them off that they start cursing and their blood pressure soars. It takes some time afterwards to calm down and shake off the agitation. There will always be people and situations that will bother us or push our buttons. We cannot control it, but we can control how we react and whether or not we will focus on the problem or sensible solutions. I want to remain hopeful when I face problems. I will seek out answers and solutions, but if I do not have any, I will not give up. I will see myself as an overcomer and continue to believe and pray for direction and answers until I have what I need. I am thankful that as I focus on the possibilities and trust that things will work out, problems and cares of this world cannot keep me down.


Copyright 2010 All Rights Reserved. Written by Krystal Kuehn. NewDayCounseling.org and BeHappy4Life.com

Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC is a psychotherapist, author, teacher & musician. She is the cofounder of New Day Counseling, a couples counseling and children counseling center, BeHappy4Life.com, an award-winning, self-help and inspirational site where you can find hundreds of free resources, insights & inspiration, and Baby-Poems.com where you can find beautiful baby poems, baby quotes & baby videos that will touch your heart & increase your joy & gratitude for the children you love & enjoy!

Gratitude: More Than Words

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. - John F. Kennedy

How trustworthy are our words if there is no action behind them? We can tell our kids not to smoke, but if they see us doing it, can we realistically expect them to listen? We can say we care about our health, but do our eating habits confirm that we do? The old adage rings true: Actions speak louder than words.

It is not just the words we say that reveal the condition of our hearts. People watch what we do more than what we say. Our actions are the best indicators of who we really are. Actions can speak so loud that we may not even need words at all sometimes. If you see a man treating his wife with love and respect, speaking well of her, supporting and acknowledging her, you don’t need him or anyone to tell you that he loves her. If you know someone who gives of their time and resources to help people in need, you do not need to be told that he or she cares or that he or she is a giving person. Observing the actions of others lead us to come to our own conclusions.

When our hearts are truly thankful, it will come out and be evident in our words. With a thankful heart we will not find fault, but rather, we will find something to praise. We will not complain, but instead, we will rejoice. With a thankful heart, we will not focus on what is lacking, we will be filled with all that is good. We will not be resentful because we feel cheated; we will cherish and acknowledge the many ways in which we are blessed. The way we live, our attitude, and our perspective is communicating something to someone at all times.

We can be assured that our gratitude and appreciation is being heard when our life becomes a song of praise—realizing our many blessings are undeserved, our life is a gift, the love we share with others is priceless, and the beauty and wonder we see and experience in creation is a privilege.

Copyright © 2009 All Rights Reserved. Written by Krystal Kuehn, co-founder of BeHappy4Life.com and New Day Counseling Services

Gratitude - More Than A Positive Perspective

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity.... It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow. ~Melodie Beattie

Do you believe gratitude unlocks the fullness of life? If so, it is because gratitude affects our perspective. Lack becomes "enough" because we are thankful for what we do have. We see the glass half full rather than half empty. Problems turn to gifts when we are grateful because we can see opportunity in them. The unexpected becomes perfect timing when we have a grateful heart, because we believe some things happen for good reason. We make the best of things although they don't always work out as we had hoped or planned. With a grateful heart, we are open and willing to learn and grow from mistakes rather than give in to defeat or anger. A grateful heart is truly a merry heart!

Something to think about:
How can gratitude change your perspective and help you to have a better attitude and day today?

Copyright © 2009 All Rights Reserved. Krystal Kuehn.
Krystal is co-founder of New Day Counseling, where marriage family counseling is provided to individuals, couples, and families.

Remember 911

I recently came across this beautiful quote:
Close your eyes and you will see everything you actually possess.

In a world of materialism and self-indulgence, it’s easy to get distracted from what is most important and valuable to us. You have probably heard of the wealthy executive who paid for his “success” with his health that he could never buy back. Or the workaholic father, wanting to provide his family with the many “things” he thought they needed, kept too busy to give them his time and attention. We can strive to accumulate things, but before we know it, those very things can begin to own us.

Can we buy a happy marriage or family? Good health? True friendship? Peace? Can we attain them by pursuing our materialistic visions and vain indulgences?

I am not only talking about being grateful for what we do have. If we think about it, most of us can say we are truly blessed. I'm talking about priorities. Do our choices and actions reflect what matters most to us?

As we remember 911, I want to think about what matters most in my life and in my country. I remember the tragedy, but I also remember the love. I remember the love that united us as a nation; the love that reached out to those hurting; the love that made sacrifices to help and serve. Remember 911 today and always.

Remembering 911

What Comes Around Goes Around

Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it. ~William Arthur Ward

When we think about it, many of the good things and blessings we have came from someone investing in our lives. We didn’t know where to go, and someone showed us the way. We didn’t know what to do, and someone gave us insight & wise counsel. We didn’t have the finances we needed, and someone provided them. We needed encouragement, and someone listened & helped us to not give up.

I want to share a story with you about giving back to those who have given so much to us:

His name was Fleming, and he was a poor Scottish farmer. One day, while trying to eke out a living for his family, he heard a cry for help coming from a nearby bog. He dropped his tools and ran to the bog. There, mired to his waist in black muck, was a terrified boy, screaming and struggling to free himself. Farmer Fleming saved the young boy from what could have been a slow and terrifying death.

The next day, a fancy carriage pulled up to the Scotsman's sparse surroundings. An elegantly dressed nobleman stepped out and introduced himself as the father of the boy Farmer Fleming had saved. "I want to repay you," said the nobleman. "You saved my son's life. " "No, I can't accept payment for what I did, " the Scottish farmer replied, waving off the offer. At that moment, the farmer's own son came to the door of the family hovel. "Is that your son? " the nobleman asked. "Yes," the farmer replied proudly. "I'll make you a deal. Let me take him and give him a good education. If the lad is anything like his father, he'll grow to a man you can be proud of. " And that he did.

In time, Farmer Fleming's son graduated from St. Mary's Hospital Medical School in London, and went on to become known throughout the world as the noted Sir Alexander Fleming, the discoverer of Penicillin.

Years afterward, the nobleman's son was stricken with pneumonia. What saved him? Penicillin. The name of the nobleman? Lord Randolph Churchill. His son's name? Sir Winston Churchill.

We’ve all heard it said that what comes around goes around. It’s the principle of sowing and reaping. When we sow goodness, kindness and love, it comes back to us in one way or another. The same holds true when we sow judgment, hate, and revenge.

Lord Randolph Churchill couldn’t walk away from the humble Farmer Fleming with a simple "thank you." He knew he could never repay him for his son’s life, but he wanted to give him something, anything he could to show his gratitude and appreciation. And his investment not only changed their lives, but it has changed all of our lives forever.

This story made me reflect on a couple of questions:

For one, How much do we value what others do for us?
How often do we show them that we truly appreciate them?
And, How can we give back to them?

I encourage you to remember to be thankful for those who have made a difference in your life. And, think about how you can express your appreciation and love to those who have blessed you.

I hope you have a great week filled with gratitude expressed in love and giving! Krystal


We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.
~Sir Winston Churchill

Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.
~Sir Winston Churchill


Copyright © 2008 BeHappy4Life.com, written by Krystal Kuehn This article is based on the BeHappy4Life Audio Podcast: What Comes Around Goes Around by Krystal Kuehn.

Gratitude: The Way to True Joy

You have probably heard that one of the best ways to improve your outlook and experience life satisfaction is to count your blessings. We would probably all agree, and most of us are thankful. However, we quickly begin to take things for granted or we simply do not think about being thankful throughout our day. A great way to keep our focus on what we have, the good, the beautiful, the positivie side of things is to keep a Gratitude Journal. I got away from doing this for some time, and a couple of months ago I decided to get back to it. Every night before bed, I think about my day and write down at least three things that I am thankful for. It amazes me that I do not think about being thankful for the simple things at the time they are happening or I quickly forget about them; but when I take time to reflect, I am truly grateful. For example, I found a home remedy for my cat's eye infection that worked. And once after running errands all day, I just made it to the last store ten minutes before they closed.

When I first began my journal, I recorded three things I was grateful for each day. Now I sometimes have a list of seven or more. Another thing that is interesting is that reflecting on the day sometimes reminds me of some unpleasant or frustrating things. Even when thinking about them, I seem to always find at least something I can be thankful for. In doing this, I am practicing gratitude. I am focusing on the positive instead of the negative. There was a time when I spent a great deal of energy focusing on what what wrong instead of what was right, what I did not have rather than what I did have, and what I could not do instead of what I could do. It comes down to perspective. If we think about what we are grateful for, we will spend much more time thinking about the good in our lives. That is one of the best ways to practice happiness. I encourage you to start a Gratitude Journal. It is simple and with practice you can expect to have a happier attitude and outlook.

For more on Gratitude, go to http://behappy4life.com/thankfulheart.html You will find some more exercises and encouragement to practice gratitude and develop a thankful heart.

One of my favorite sections is on Perspective. Check it out here: http://behappy4life.com/newperspective.html

My gratitude for my son is best expressed in this video. I wrote the words shortly after he was born. I originally wrote it with his name in the title. This version is altered so everyone can relate and appreciate it. http://behappy4life.com/babypoem.html

With a heart of gratitude, Krystal