Keys to Getting Over a Break-up

Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~author unknown

Someone recently asked me:

How do you get over a break-up?

Following is the answer that may help you too:

When a relationship ends, we experience all kinds of feelings of loss. Maybe we lost our best friend and lover, someone we truly love, someone we had future plans and dreams with. It takes time to heal from a break-up. It’s a process of letting to. Letting go is sometimes difficult. But regardless of why the relationship ended, there are some things we can do to help us move forward. We can ask ourselves:

What am I holding on to? If it’s anger, we can work on forgiveness. If we’re holding on to disappointed hopes, we can set new goals for ourselves.

What is worth holding on to? Anything that we have learned that can help us to grow and be better is worth holding on to. We also have memories we can cherish of the love shared and good times together.

Finally, when we truly want nothing but the best for the other person, we are free to find the best in ourselves.


There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind. But keep in mind that letting go is not the end of the world, it’s the beginning of a new life. ~author unknown


We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the life that is waiting for us. ~Joseph Campbell


You never leave someone behind, you take a part of them with you and leave a part of yourself behind. ~author unknown

How to Make 2009 the Best Year Yet!

Did you make any New Year's Resolutions?

Most of us like to start the new year with hopes and plans for a good year. The past is behind us and we carry over the blessings, memories, and lessons it has taught us. But today is a new day, a new year, and we can start fresh. We can have new beginnings and set new goals.

What would you like to be different this coming year? Maybe you want to get in better shape, lose some weight, get out of debt, break bad habits and begin healthy ones, donate your time and/or finances, contribute to the community, make a positive difference in other's lives, and the list goes on.

Research shows that most New Year's resolutions are not kept for very long. We have good intentions and maybe start out with determination and confidence, but soon after our enthusiasm dies out. Oftentimes our resolutions are more challenging than we had expected. Maybe this year we can approach the new year with just one goal that will help us to meet all the others: to live a more positive and grateful life. A postiive and grateful life helps us to stay strong in our faith, persist, dream, set goals, love others and treat them with kindness and respect. Real fulfillment and joy can be ours this year as we commit to being our best.

Make 2009 the best year yet by being the best you can be. It starts with you - your thinking, your attitude, your love walk, you faith, your perpective, your commitment, your persistence, your choices. We don't know what this new year will bring, but we can resolve to make the best of 2009 as we make the best of ourselves. God bless you and may this year be your best ever! Krystal

Copyright © 2009 BeHappy4Life.com, written by Krystal Kuehn

For 100s of free resources and tools to help you develop healthy habits and fulfilling relationships, go to BeHappy4Life.com.

Happy Holidays!!

I know you will enjoy this: Handel's Messiah

What Comes Around Goes Around

Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it. ~William Arthur Ward

When we think about it, many of the good things and blessings we have came from someone investing in our lives. We didn’t know where to go, and someone showed us the way. We didn’t know what to do, and someone gave us insight & wise counsel. We didn’t have the finances we needed, and someone provided them. We needed encouragement, and someone listened & helped us to not give up.

I want to share a story with you about giving back to those who have given so much to us:

His name was Fleming, and he was a poor Scottish farmer. One day, while trying to eke out a living for his family, he heard a cry for help coming from a nearby bog. He dropped his tools and ran to the bog. There, mired to his waist in black muck, was a terrified boy, screaming and struggling to free himself. Farmer Fleming saved the young boy from what could have been a slow and terrifying death.

The next day, a fancy carriage pulled up to the Scotsman's sparse surroundings. An elegantly dressed nobleman stepped out and introduced himself as the father of the boy Farmer Fleming had saved. "I want to repay you," said the nobleman. "You saved my son's life. " "No, I can't accept payment for what I did, " the Scottish farmer replied, waving off the offer. At that moment, the farmer's own son came to the door of the family hovel. "Is that your son? " the nobleman asked. "Yes," the farmer replied proudly. "I'll make you a deal. Let me take him and give him a good education. If the lad is anything like his father, he'll grow to a man you can be proud of. " And that he did.

In time, Farmer Fleming's son graduated from St. Mary's Hospital Medical School in London, and went on to become known throughout the world as the noted Sir Alexander Fleming, the discoverer of Penicillin.

Years afterward, the nobleman's son was stricken with pneumonia. What saved him? Penicillin. The name of the nobleman? Lord Randolph Churchill. His son's name? Sir Winston Churchill.

We’ve all heard it said that what comes around goes around. It’s the principle of sowing and reaping. When we sow goodness, kindness and love, it comes back to us in one way or another. The same holds true when we sow judgment, hate, and revenge.

Lord Randolph Churchill couldn’t walk away from the humble Farmer Fleming with a simple "thank you." He knew he could never repay him for his son’s life, but he wanted to give him something, anything he could to show his gratitude and appreciation. And his investment not only changed their lives, but it has changed all of our lives forever.

This story made me reflect on a couple of questions:

For one, How much do we value what others do for us?
How often do we show them that we truly appreciate them?
And, How can we give back to them?

I encourage you to remember to be thankful for those who have made a difference in your life. And, think about how you can express your appreciation and love to those who have blessed you.

I hope you have a great week filled with gratitude expressed in love and giving! Krystal


We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.
~Sir Winston Churchill

Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.
~Sir Winston Churchill


Copyright © 2008 BeHappy4Life.com, written by Krystal Kuehn This article is based on the BeHappy4Life Audio Podcast: What Comes Around Goes Around by Krystal Kuehn.