What Comes Around Goes Around

Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it. ~William Arthur Ward

When we think about it, many of the good things and blessings we have came from someone investing in our lives. We didn’t know where to go, and someone showed us the way. We didn’t know what to do, and someone gave us insight & wise counsel. We didn’t have the finances we needed, and someone provided them. We needed encouragement, and someone listened & helped us to not give up.

I want to share a story with you about giving back to those who have given so much to us:

His name was Fleming, and he was a poor Scottish farmer. One day, while trying to eke out a living for his family, he heard a cry for help coming from a nearby bog. He dropped his tools and ran to the bog. There, mired to his waist in black muck, was a terrified boy, screaming and struggling to free himself. Farmer Fleming saved the young boy from what could have been a slow and terrifying death.

The next day, a fancy carriage pulled up to the Scotsman's sparse surroundings. An elegantly dressed nobleman stepped out and introduced himself as the father of the boy Farmer Fleming had saved. "I want to repay you," said the nobleman. "You saved my son's life. " "No, I can't accept payment for what I did, " the Scottish farmer replied, waving off the offer. At that moment, the farmer's own son came to the door of the family hovel. "Is that your son? " the nobleman asked. "Yes," the farmer replied proudly. "I'll make you a deal. Let me take him and give him a good education. If the lad is anything like his father, he'll grow to a man you can be proud of. " And that he did.

In time, Farmer Fleming's son graduated from St. Mary's Hospital Medical School in London, and went on to become known throughout the world as the noted Sir Alexander Fleming, the discoverer of Penicillin.

Years afterward, the nobleman's son was stricken with pneumonia. What saved him? Penicillin. The name of the nobleman? Lord Randolph Churchill. His son's name? Sir Winston Churchill.

We’ve all heard it said that what comes around goes around. It’s the principle of sowing and reaping. When we sow goodness, kindness and love, it comes back to us in one way or another. The same holds true when we sow judgment, hate, and revenge.

Lord Randolph Churchill couldn’t walk away from the humble Farmer Fleming with a simple "thank you." He knew he could never repay him for his son’s life, but he wanted to give him something, anything he could to show his gratitude and appreciation. And his investment not only changed their lives, but it has changed all of our lives forever.

This story made me reflect on a couple of questions:

For one, How much do we value what others do for us?
How often do we show them that we truly appreciate them?
And, How can we give back to them?

I encourage you to remember to be thankful for those who have made a difference in your life. And, think about how you can express your appreciation and love to those who have blessed you.

I hope you have a great week filled with gratitude expressed in love and giving! Krystal


We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.
~Sir Winston Churchill

Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.
~Sir Winston Churchill


Copyright © 2008 BeHappy4Life.com, written by Krystal Kuehn This article is based on the BeHappy4Life Audio Podcast: What Comes Around Goes Around by Krystal Kuehn.

Stress Management: 6 Tips to Less Stress & More Peace

Responding to stress is a consistent part of our daily lives. How we deal with it affects our minds and bodies. Our health can be compromised by ongoing stress reactions. Ongoing stress can affect our peace of mind and physical vitality. It can harm our bodies and lead to physical symptoms and problems including anxiety and depression.

Our minds can help to calm us or increase our stress. Our bodies’ reactions can be channeled into healthy outputs or be kept in a state of alarm. Dealing with stress takes energy. We face it every day, and how we choose to manage it is extremely important to our whole being – body, mind and spirit.

What do you do when you are stressed? How do you calm yourself? Do you use alcohol to help you relax? Do you eat foods high in sugar and fat to soothe you? How about watching hours of television to distract you? These solutions can sometimes create more stress and problems for us. There are other ways that can help. We can calm ourselves and maintain a peaceful state of mind and a healthy body when we:

1. Practice being calm and relaxed.
We can learn to calm ourselves with relaxation exercises such as deep breathing, as well as biofeedback, prayer, meditation, and progressive muscle relaxation. An extremely effective way to activate our relaxation response is to do some deep breathing exercises. Go to Breathing Awareness and Deep Breathing for step-by-step instructions.

2. Calm yourself with activity.
Take a warm bath. Get a massage. Take a walk. Watch a sunset. Enjoy some hobbies. Listen to some music. Sing. Dance. Laugh. Exercise. Physical activity is a great way to burn off stress chemicals.

3. Eat healthy.
Our brain chemicals are controlled by what we eat. A diet high in protein and complex carbohydrates provides the nutrition we need for a healthy body and mind. Sufficient vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants keep us in balance and help to build up our immune systems.

4. Detox your body and mind.
Eliminate unhealthy foods high in sugar, caffeine, and fat. Cleanse the body from built-up toxins caused by poor diet, chemicals, and the environment. Detox your mind of toxic emotions and stinkin’ thinking.’ For information on 10 of the most common cognitive distortions, go to How do you Change the Way You Think?

5. Think healthy & positive.
A healthy mind affects the body. If our thinking is positive and hopeful, it affects our whole being. This famous saying describes it well: Being in a good frame of mind helps keep one in the picture of health.

6. Stay connected with others.
We are made for relationships. Relationships provide love, support, and purpose we need for living. Staying connected with others and building our relationships can help us to cope better with stress and stay calm in the midst of life’s storms.


Health is a large word. It embraces not the body only, but the mind and spirit as well; and not today's pain or pleasure alone, but the whole being and outlook of a man. ~James H. West


C2008 BeHappy4Life.com, written by Krystal Kuehn

Perspective - It's All the Way You Look At It

There is little difference in people, but that difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative. ~W.Clement Stone

We might describe ourselves as an optimist, a pessimist, or somewhere in-between. But regardless who is right or wrong about a matter, it is the optimist that always tends to be the one who is more hopeful and happy. Join me as we experience a typical day in the life of an optimist and a pessimist. The following story is about perspective & how the same situation can be experienced so differently:

Early Saturday morning the optimist awakens with anticipation and gratitude for the new day. He looks forward to getting together with his friend for a stroll in the park. The pessimist awakens to another day expecting more of the same—the same problems, frustrations, and negativity. When they greet each other at the park, the optimist comments on what a beautiful, sunny day it is. The pessimist says, “You never know how long it will last. It could get cloudy and rain as far as we know.”

Along their way, the Optimist notices a group of teenagers playing ball and blaring a radio near by them. The Optimist says, “It’s so nice to see young people having so much fun together—playing sports and getting exercise.” “You can’t be serious,” retorts the Pessimist. “Teens are troublemakers. Listen to that horrible music. They’re all angry and rebellious. And, on top of that, they get so aggressive in sports, I’m surprised there are not more injuries.”

Next, they walk to the bridge and see a sign stating that the bridge is temporarily closed due to construction. The Optimist suggests, “Let’s go around another way. It’ll be just as nice and we can enjoy the scenery along the other side of the park. The Pessimist angrily replies, “Taxpayer dollars are being wasted again. The bridge was just fine. Now we have to take the long way around because of their incompetence.”

On the other side of the Park, the Optimist notices a couple playfully hugging and kissing. “That is so beautiful! It looks like they’re in love.” “Yeah, right,” exclaims the Pessimist. “They’re just putting on a show. If they want to be all affectionate and loving, they shouldn’t be in a public place.”

The stroll in the park continued along in the same predictable manner. And later that evening, when both the Optimist and Pessimist were asked by friends how their day went, The Optimist shared, “It was a great day. The park was filled with people having fun, and there was so much to see and enjoy.” The Pessimist described his day saying, “There is nothing good about this town. Annoying people are everywhere. The bridge was even down, and there really wasn’t much to like about it.”


Wow, What a difference in perspective! Is there any wonder why the Pessimist remains negative and oftentimes is unhappy? First, he doesn’t expect the nice weather to last. He is actually expressing the attitude that some people have—that nothing good ever lasts for very long, so don’t expect it and you won’t be disappointed. Then, he generalizes that all teens are angry and rebellious. When the bridge is closed, instead of making the best of the situation, he complains and blames others. And later, he gets annoyed by displays of love and affection.

The Optimist, on the other hand, focuses on the good things—and spends his day appreciating and enjoying it. When obstacles arise, he copes in a healthy manner and doesn’t let it ruin his day or attitude.

Now, who would you rather be around? Or, I should ask, what perspective would you rather have? Most of us would like to be more like the Optimist. The Optimist has inner joy and peace. The Optimist is loving towards others. And, the Optimist has inner strength to cope with life’s challenges.

I’d like to encourage you that with practice, we can ALL become more optimistic in our outlook.

I hope you have a great week & see all the good in it!


Pessimism leads to weakness, optimism to power. ~William James


Copyright © 2008 BeHappy4Life.com, written by Krystal Kuehn

This article is a transcript from the Perspective: It's All the Way You Look at It - audio podcast . To learn more about developing a positive attitude, go to behappy4life.com.

The Love Test

Love must be learned, and learned again; there is no end to it.
~Katherine Anne Porter


When people say “I love you,” what do they mean? Perhaps they are referring to their strong emotions, or to a physical love that is passionate and lustful. How often is it a deeper love—a love that is selfless, unconditional, and forgiving that is expressed? This kind of love is stronger than emotions and physical passions. It involves commitment and a decision to act in the best interest of others. This is a giving and sacrificial love. It is not dependent upon the attractiveness, agreeableness, or condition of the love object. It is love this is unconditional and free.

This is the kind of love that is loyal and would not betray the one it loves. This is the kind of love that never gives up, but continues to want and believe the best of the other person. This love is patient, kind, and respectful. It does not harbor resentment, nor is it arrogant, rude, and selfish.

So the next time we tell someone we love them, do we love them with this kind of love? We might have good intentions and a true desire to love others unconditionally and with our whole hearts, but most of us could use some practice and greater understanding of love. We can check our understanding of love by this simple exercise. Using The 10 Keys to Happy and Loving Relationships replace the word love with your name or with the words I am. For the first one only, use I have instead of I am. That is, I have esteem for self and others. Then continue with I am patient, I am kind, and so forth.

1. Love is Esteem for Self & Others
2. Love is Patient
3. Love is Kind
4. Love is Considerate
5. Love is not Jealous or Envious
6. Love is Humble
7. Love is not Demanding
8. Love is not Easily Angered
9. Love is Forgiving
10. Love is Sincere

How many of those statements do you believe to be true with your name in place of love? Don’t be disheartened if you feel you need work in any or all of these areas. Most of us probably have plenty of room to grow in our understanding and practice of love. This exercise has hopefully been helpful in identifying key areas in which you might want to improve your experience of love and all the benefits that come with it. For more information, activities, and affirmations about love go to The 10 Keys to Happy and Loving Relationships.


C2008 BeHappy4Life.com/Krystal Kuehn


The Power of Love is amazing and never-ending.
Love can motivate, energize, inspire, and strengthen.
Love can do in a person what nothing else can do.
Love has the power to revive and change lives,
restore relationships, and bring healing.
All else may fail, but Love never fails.
~Krystal Kuehn