My Heart’s Longing – A Song in Loving Memory of Mariche’

Whenever I feel strongly about something, it is natural for me to express myself in writing. Whether it is an article, letter, or song, I am able to communicate my pain or joy and release my feelings. It is very therapeutic and liberating. However, in the past couple of months I was able to do none of these. It is not like me to be lost for words, but I found myself unable to write about the loss of my cousin Mariche’ who passed away a couple months earlier. She lost her life at the young age of 40.

How do you express the pain of unanswered prayers for her healing? The injustice of life and the suffering people must endure? The loss her children, husband, and other family members must now live with. Or the anguish of her parents, my aunt and uncle, are experiencing having outlived their youngest daughter? There really are no words, just tears, pain, and frustration until acceptance and peace come.

Words could not express what I was feeling or thinking. They would not come and neither would a song or melody. Then finally all the feelings and thoughts from deep within my heart emerged. A reflective, intensely emotional mood could be heard and felt in a new song. I would name it My Heart’s Longing to accurately describe my experience.

A longing is a strong desire, a yearning. So what is the strong desire so deep within my heart? What is my heart longing for? I suppose it is many things that have gone through my heart and soul since the loss of my cousin. I long for peace amidst life’s tragedies. I strongly desire to trust God no matter how unfair life can be. I want to accept things I cannot understand without always having to ask, “Why?” I long for strength even when pain seems unbearable. I long to embrace love that lasts forever, is eternal, and never let it go. I long for the inner assurance that we will meet our loved ones in God’s time and in His glorious presence. I long to grow and heal as I grieve and process the loss of my cousin. I desire to let go of what could have been and look forward to what is and can be. Ultimately, I believe all my heart’s longings will be met by my God. And I thank Him for this song that has helped me to express my many intense emotions and longings through this difficult journey. It is my hope and prayer that it blesses you as well.

With all my heart, Krystal

In Loving Memory of my cousin Mariche’ Pecijareska

I humbly dedicate this song, My Heart's Longing, to my cousin Mariche’. My love for her is the inspiration behind it. She is in my heart and always will be. It's hard to understand why we lost her so soon, but we believe that all the longings of her heart are fully met in our Heavenly Father. In His very presence, she knows peace, love is fully realized, all her hopes are fulfilled, all her tears are wiped away, and her only longing is to forever worship the Lover of her soul, the Lord God Almighty who was and is and is to come!

Mariche's beautiful daugher Evanjelica. She shares many wonderful qualities of her mother - very caring, kind, intelligent, creative.

Mariche' with her handsome son Hristijan. He is a college student in Skopje. Mariche was always so proud of him. He is growing to be a wonderful young man - a true leader, highly intelligent and ambitious like his mother!

For YouTube Video of My Heart's Longing, click here.

Copyright © 2012 Krystal Kuehn

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