Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Friendship, Love & Marriage

It's interesting how people come and go in our lives. Some become good friends, others make a significant impression on our lives, some hurt us and use us, and they all teach us about life in one way or another. Best friends are truly a gift from God. I believe that every successful and happy marriage is made up of true friendship. Following is an article I wrote awhile ago about friendship in marriage. For more resources on improving all your friendships, go to my free online Love & Relationships Workshop.

My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me. ~Henry Ford

Friendship & Love: The Foundation of a Happy Marriage

Is Your Spouse Your Best Friend?

When people first get married they usually expect their love and commitment to last for a lifetime. Unfortunately, for at least half of all couples it doesn't. What happens? Soon after marriage couples discover that the bliss of falling in love quickly fades. They no longer see each other through rose colored glasses. The ease with which they once overlooked each other's faults becomes much more difficult.

With married life, couples begin to encounter new challenges, roles and responsibilities. Conflicts arise and sometimes go unresolved. Tensions build. Commitments weaken. Mutual respect isn't always present. And, unconditional love and acceptance do not always last. So how do you build a strong marriage that can withstand the onslaughts of life's challenges?

No one ever said that marriage is easy. Marriage is hard work. To keep a marriage strong, satisfying and lasting requires a great deal of investment. It takes time and energy to get to know and understand your spouse; to set goals and share dreams together; and to have fun and enjoy each other. Couples sometimes lose touch with each other and grow apart when they get lax and don't work on their marriage. Yet when they do, they are much more likely to feel very close and deeply cared for by their partner.

Couples who invest in their marriages can build deep friendships. Researchers have found that the level of a couple's friendship is the greatest indicator of success in marriage. Couples who are close and are best friends have more happiness and satisfaction in their lives. Best friends are trustworthy, safe, understanding, loving, accepting and respectful. Best friends are a strong buffer in times of trouble. You can count on them. They are supportive and faithful. Best friends can work through conflicts and pressures that threaten the relationship. Best friends do not give up on each other. They forgive. They share.

You may have been your spouse's partner and lover, but have you been your spouse's best friend? If your marriage is not all that you would like it to be and you want to begin investing more into your marriage to make it better, why not begin with your friendship. You may likely find that it is one of the greatest investments you will ever make.

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Some of my favorite friendship quotes:

Every gift from a friend is a wish for your happiness. ~Richard Bach

Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend. ~unknown

Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. Eccl. 4:9-10

A real friend never gets in the way, unless you happen to be on the way down. ~Evan Esar

Tell me whom you love and I will tell you who you are. ~Houssaye
For more quotes, free resources, and my monthly newsletter & much more, go to