Happy Holidays! Merry Christmas!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!

Best wishes for a joyful, blessed holiday season
and a very Happy New Year!!

How Background Music Enhances Media Projects

 Whether you are watching a movie, riding in an elevator, listening to a commercial on the radio, or simply shopping, you will find that there is always some kind of background music playing. You may not even be aware of it, but it is there and it sets a mood. In a movie, it becomes a part of your experience. You grip your seat as you feel the tension building. The excitement makes your heart race. You feel the sadness and are moved to tears. In an elevator, background music may comfort and soothe you, or it may help you to relax and slow down a little. When background music is playing during a commercial on the radio or television, you may be more inclined to pay attention to the advertisement. You may even find the ad more appealing. All along, it is the background music that is influencing how you hear, feel, see and experience an event.


You shop for clothing or groceries and the background music often sets the pace. Studies have found that consumers are more likely to take their time shopping when the background music is at a slower, more even tempo, and they are likely to feel more rushed and hurried when the background music is at a faster tempo.


We may not ever really think about it and how it influences us, but background music is all around us. We hear it every day whether at work or home. It affects our experience and has a subtle influence on how we feel, think, or act. Today there are countless opportunities for us to use background music in our media projects. It adds another dimension to anything we do from our own home videos to web sites. The possibilities are endless for us to take advantage of this remarkable way of adding life and energy to all of our media projects!


Copyright © 2011 NewSongProductions.com All Rights Reserved.
How Background Music Enhances Media Projects by Krystal Kuehn



It occurred to me by intuition, and music was the driving force behind that intuition. My discovery was the result of musical perception. (When asked about his theory of relativity) ~Albert Einstein



Music is a higher revelation than all wisdom and philosphy. Music is the electrical soil in which the spirit lives, thinks and invents. ~ Ludwig van Beethoven



Joy, sorrow, tears, lamentation, laughter — to all these music gives voice, but in such a way that we are transported from the world of unrest to a world of peace, and see reality in a new way, as if we were sitting by a mountain lake and contemplating hills and woods and clouds in the tranquil and fathomless water. ~Albert Schweitzer




Where words fail, music speaks. ~Hans Christian Anderson




NewSongProductions.com provides royalty free music for all media project needs including background music, music for video, music for movie, web sites, slideshows, video games, powerpoint and more. Visit NewSongProductions.com to listen to samples of original background music now.
 
 
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Building a Foundation for Happiness

Find inspiration
Be encouraged & filled with hope
Learn powerful tools
Discover freedom
Build an unshakeable foundation to true and lasting happiness.......

Building a Foundation for Happiness by Dennis Liegghio a very candid and inspirational story of survival, strength and ultimate victory in discovering life purpose, freedom and true joy. Dennis shares his story of suicidal depression, hopelessness, and self-destruction that could have claimed his life. He did not expect to live past his 25th birthday, but he is alive today to share his way to victory.

Dennis is an overcomer and living proof that no matter how painful and unfair life has treated you, it can get better. In Building a Foundation of Happiness, you will discover what Dennis has learned and put into practice for over 10 years that has changed his life. His book will take you on a journey from trauma and despair to ultimate freedom, hope and purpose. You will discover that these are the very things you can experience in your own life as well. True happiness and peace are possible. Healthy coping is something you can learn. You can improve and change your life today. And the best way to begin is to build a strong and solid foundation for happiness!


Dennis has a heart for hurting people and wants to help as many as possible.  He offers this inspiring, life-changing work Building a Foundation for Happiness as a free pdf download available here: 
http://detourproject.org/docs/foundation-for-happiness.pdf

We at BeHappy4Life.com and NewDayCounseling.org are blessed and honored to share this amazing resource with you from our dear friend Dennis, a wonderful person with a big heart who is doing truly amazing work to help people live empowered lives.  This latest work of his is outstanding, life-changing and very highly recommended!! 

Building a Foundation for Happiness
by Dennis Liegghio
http://www.detourproject.org/

http://www.detourproject.org/


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Winning in Life--How to Hit the Target Every Time!

We are often told to aim high in life, but we must aim at what we would hit instead.  A general purpose is not enough.  The arrow shot from the bow does not wander around to see what it can hit on its way, but flies straight to the mark. ~Og Mandino

We can aim for the stars, but without clear vision and focus, our energies will be scattered.  What are we really reaching or aiming for anyway?  That is something we must decide for ourselves.  And once we do, we can make plans on how to attain our goals.  All the while, we keep our focus on the specific purpose for which we envision and aspire toward.  Suppose, for example, that you decide to go to college.  A general goal may be to lose some weight and get into shape and/or to change our eating habits.  That is a great aim and desire, but it will remain just that until it is made more specific with some steps we can take with short-term and long-term goals.  Once we decide on what specific plan or progam we would like to use, we will begin to have a clearer focus and vision for our future.  Another general goal may be to earn a college degree.  To make it more targeted we would have to decide on a career path we would like to take and the type of degree we would like to earn. 

It is much more motivating, attainable, and fulfilling to aim at something specific rather than at a random target.  It is empowering and keeps us active participants in our life purpose and destiny rather than just hoping that someday things will just fall into place or waiting for opportunity to come knocking at the door.  The truth is, we have to knock on the door of opportunity for ourselves.  When we realize this and the responsibility we hold, we will endure; we will perseverance; we will keep focused and concentrate because we know what we want and where we are going.  Challenges will present themselves to us and we will be ready.  Our eyes will be set on the goal.  We will aim toward it and continue to move forward until it is attained.  This is the most effective approach to successfully reaching our goals. And it is sound advice inspired by one of the greatest inspirational writers I respect and admire, Og Mandino!

Copyright © 2011 Krystal Kuehn. All Rights Reserved.



An archer cannot hit the bullseye if he doesn't know where the target is. ~Anonymous


You can't hit a target you cannot see, and you cannot see a target you do not have. ~Zig Ziglar The establishment of a clear, central purpose or goal in life is the starting point of all success. ~Brian Tracy

Our goals can only be reached through a vehicle of a plan, in which we must fervently believe, and upon which we must vigorously act. There is no other route to success. ~Stephen A. Brennan



Decide what you want, decide what you are willing to exchange for it. Establish your priorities and go to work." H. L. Hungt


People with goals succeed because they know where they're going. ~Earl Nightingale I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination. ~Jimmy Dean


Without goals and plans to reach them, you are like a ship that has set sail with no destination. ~Fitzhugh Dodson


First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do." Epictetus



Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC is a licensed professional counselor, author, teacher, and musician. She specializes in helping people live their best life now, reach their full potential, overcome barriers, heal from their past, and develop a lifestyle of health, happiness, and love. Krystal is the cofounder of NewDayCounseling.org, a family counseling center, specializing in helping individuals, couples and families with professional counseling services for relationship problems, parenting issues, depression, anxiety as well a s substance abuse classes, anger management groups, and more. Krystal is also cofounder of BeHappy4Life.com as well as Facebook.com/WordsOfInspiration and several blogs.

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Suicide Prevention: Is Suicide Right for Me?

This thought-provoking article Is Suicide Right for Me? is written by Micheal Petipren.  It is his reaction and  personal response to Stop Suicide Song Video.  We hope you enjoy it!  If you have any thoughts, articles, comments or personal response to the music video, we encourage you to share it with us.  You can email us at:  contactbehappy@behappy4life.com
**See reader response to Is Suicide Right for Me? after article below.

Very young children are borne with happiness being a neo-natal distinguishing feature. Only until they begin to react within their milieu, through maturation, do they begin to lose their joy and freedom of expression. As they grow and become molded by their interactions with their surroundings, conflict begins to have an effect. It is conflict that blemishes the free spirit of youth. Behavioral problems start to surface and chip away at their well-being and sense of morality.

During adolescence, personality, self-identity, beliefs, self-image, self-esteem and their place in the world etc., start to come into focus. It is at this time that many people start to develop difficulties with the general challenges of living a happy, well-adjusted life. Their general coping skills, which are so very important in dealing with the ups and downs of daily living, may escape them. Life’s problems may often become monolithic to them at times. Perhaps their most basic problems may center on their subjective perception of their own body and personality (self-image) as well as their personal self-worth as viewed by others (self-esteem.)

Self-image and self-esteem can be considered the basis of many difficulties. Without a positive view of one’s self, self-acceptance, love of self and others, creativity, happiness, self-contentment, self-confidence etc., a person is likely to experience problems with daily living. At this time, happiness may have abandoned the individual and escaped. The ground-work has now been laid for the individual to recapture his lost happiness.

The literature is filled with books on happiness and how to go about achieving its capture. Upon review of what has been published concerning happiness, one is struck with how many times biblical scripture and the word “God” are mentioned! The general theme makes it apparent that it is very important to have faith in God in striving for happiness. Even the avowed atheist, Bertrand Russell, was once quoted stating: “Unless you assume a God, the question of life’s purpose is meaningless.”

When God gave Moses the Ten Commandments in Exodus, included in them was Commandment Number Six which stated: “You shall not murder.” This directive from God also included personal murder, i.e. Suicide. It is at this point that one must consider the topic of this essay: “Is Suicide Right For Me?” Before you make the fatal mistake of taking your own life, ask yourself the following questions:

(1) Could I be so depressed, and filled with so much personal disparagement, so as to surrender my God-given immortal soul to an eternity we do not understand?

(2) What would be the fate and grief of those left behind who loved me so very much?

(3) Am I so completely abandoned by my “significant other” and my “support group” that there is no hope left?

(4) Have I made a sedulous effort to seek professional help to find the correct medication, compatible with my system, and adhere religiously to my doctor’s recommendations?

(5) Am I fully aware how vital it is to love God, respect myself, love my neighbor and live the life emblematic of the happy person God meant me to be?

It seems evident that there are resolutions to deal with the fate of self-destruction brought about through suicide. If the individual were able to scuttle “negative self-talk” and replace it with “positive affirmations”, their depression might hopefully start to abate. Granted, there is no easy quick-fix to turn around depressive thoughts into the realm of positive thinking along with a good well balanced self -love. Hopefully you will conclude that: SUICIDE IS NOT RIGHT FOR YOU—or for anybody else for that matter!

Copyright © 2011 Michael Petipren.  All Rights Reserved.

Please take a moment to watch the video and listen to Would You Still Do It. This very moving, passionate suicide song for suicide prevention is a reminder that although you may have felt or said I want to die, there is hope no matter how hopeless it seems; there is healing no matter how much it hurts; there are people who really do care and want to help. *If you or someone you know is depressed, suicidal, or engaged in self-destructive behaviors, please get help today. 1-800-273-TALK (8255) Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. ~Anonymous

 
READER RESPONSE:

This really covers all the bases - no self-esteem, complete despair, no hope their circumstances will improve, no joy left in life. The caregivers should encourage “baby-steps” (taking one day at a time) as thoughts of the future are frightening (what if things don’t get better) and long-term goals are impossible. Each day completed is a victory in the fight to stay positive. Belief in a loving God and prayer is huge. The sufferer has lost all faith in themselves and their power to solve their problems and needs to believe in a supreme being that is in control of all things and has a plan for us. But the fear of punishment in the afterlife isn’t enough to keep someone from harming themselves. They justify death as relief from immediate suffering (which is the ultimate goal) – and will risk the unknown of death in order to escape the here and now. They just want the pain to stop. Help them to see that they are not alone and that none of us in control of anything. They must understand that we are ALL vulnerable to the stress of life and they are not singled out. The average person seems okay on the outside but if you talk to them, you find out different. Perception is reality but it is often a false reality. They also believe everyone else would be so much better off without them. They see themselves as a burden on their loved ones and on society. Many are afraid to talk about their feelings for fear they will end up medicated in a stress center. My opinion is to continue the daily routine if at all possible – even if it is a struggle. Go to work, go to the grocery store, cook dinner, go to the gym, stay in the world of the living. Those who retreat to their beds with pills don’t get better – they get consumed with loneliness and isolation. Their feelings of failure are magnified with nothing else to get their attention. Giving the person a feeling of being productive is therapeutic for me. Even if you don’t accomplish much – you survived another day – and with each passing day, things can change for the better.  (submitted on September 6, 2011 by Anonymous)

Self-Acceptance - Being Free to be Me

To find the good life you must become yourself. ~ Dr. Bill Jackson

We all want to be liked by others. We want to be accepted for who we are, and we want to feel free to be our genuine selves around them. But sometimes we feel pressured to live up to a certain image or expectation of what we think will please or impress others. So we try to become someone we are not. And we might even compromise our values and beliefs to receive the approval we seek.

Joann was a small town, country girl who dreamed about living in the big city. She got her chance when she was accepted to a well-known university. She wanted to make a positive impression and thought by changing her style she would fit in better. So, she bought a few expensive designer brand outfits even though she actually preferred wearing her comfortable, faded blue jeans and t-shirts. Eventually, she started feeling like a real phony. She didn’t like pretending to be someone she was not and she decided to just be herself. To her surprise she soon met some really nice friends who liked her style and personality, and truly liked her for who she was.

Not everyone will like us for who we are. And that’s okay. We don’t have to live our life to please people. We can be free to have our own opinions, interests, convictions, and style. And those who truly like us will respect our individuality and let us be ourselves. They will like and accept us for who we are.


Affirmations:

I do not have to pretend I am someone I am not in order to be happy with myself.

I will PRACTICE self-acceptance today…by being my genuine self, accepting who I am, and not trying to change for the acceptance from others.


Empowering Thoughts:

About all you can do in life is be who you are. Some people will love you for you. Most will love you for what you can do for them, and some won’t like you at all. ~Rita Mae Brown

I am what I am, so take me as I am! ~Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval. ~Mark Twain

All the discontented people I know are trying to be something they are not, to do something they cannot do. ~David Grayson

For real self esteem is not derived from the great things you've done, the things you won, the mark you've made, but an appreciation of yourself for what you are. ~Maxwell Max

It is necessary to the happiness of a man that he be mentally faithful to himself. ~ E. Cummings

Our entire life, with our fine moral code and our precious freedom, consists ultimately in accepting ourselves as we are. ~- Jean Anouilh

My definition of success is total self acceptance. We can obtain all of the material possessions we desire quite easily, however, attempting to change our deepest thoughts and learning to love ourselves is a monumental challenge. ~ Franki




Copyright © 2011 NewDayCounseling.org All Rights Reserved.


Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC is a licensed professional counselor, author, teacher, and musician. She specializes in helping people live their best life now, reach their full potential, overcome barriers, heal from their past, and develop a lifestyle of health, happiness, and love. Krystal is the cofounder of New Day Counseling, a family couples counseling and child adolescent counseling center, StopSuicideSong.com, and BeHappy4Life.com, an award-winning self-improvement and personal growth site where you can find hundreds of free resources, online workshops, video presentations, insights, and inspiration.

New Day Counseling is a family counseling center that provides professional counseling services for the entire family. We help parents, children, teens, families, individuals and couples. We offer couples therapy / marriage counseling, child therapy, adolescent counseling, anxiety counseling, depression counseling, divorce counseling, grief counseling, porn addiction counseling, substance abuse counseling. We also offer groups for anger counseling. Go to NewDayCounseling.org today for more information or call us at 248-649-8050. We are here to help, and we look forward to hearing from you.

Put an end to anger problems & regain control over your life today. Anger management classes help for personal, court, and business. For more info go to newdaycounseling.org or call 248-649-8050 to register today. * Anger management groups and/or individual anger counseling can be extremely supportive and helpful in equipping us with many tools for a better life.

Are you experiencing addiction or substance use that is impacting your daily life? You are not alone! There are many people struggling with substance abuse and addiction! There are also many people who recover and live a drug free lifestyle. Come join our 6 week substance abuse group to discover the pathway to freedom! One Day at A Time! For substance abuse group and/or individual substance abuse counseling, call or visit us today.


Love and Logic Parenting Classes help you with the most important job there is! You can learn practical tools & techniques for effective discipline, better communication, appropriate boundaries, healthy decision-making, & respectful adult-child relationships. Workshops are available at New Day Counseling in Troy. For more information or to register online go to: Love and Logic Parenting Class or call 248-649-8050.

Self-Esteem Group for Teen Girls (ages 13-17)
Teen girls learn to feel empowered, gain self-awareness, develop positive coping, and improve daily problem-solving skills. Through G.I.R.L.S. (Girls in Real Life Situations) counseling curriculum, group discussion, and fun activities, girls will learn more about themselves and be better equipped to handle Real Life Situations. Call 248-649-8050 today to register. For more information about this teen group, click here. We also provide individual teenage counseling.



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4 Tips to a Happy, Healthy Body for Life

Happiness lies, first of all, in health. ~George William Curtis

Just imagine for a moment what life would be like if each individual on earth were allowed to own just one automobile per lifetime. Do you think you would be more motivated to take better care of your vehicle-getting routine tune-ups and oil changes, rotating tires, keeping it clean, and so forth? Some of us might have a very different attitude about it altogether. We might take our responsibility to care for it more seriously. And we would most likely appreciate and cherish it much more.

Fortunately, most of us are not limited to owning just one vehicle per lifetime so we don't have to be overly concerned with proper maintenance and care. But, how about our bodies? We can't trade them in for another model. And some parts can't be replaced. When something goes wrong we do what we can to fix it. We own it for life. And it's up to us to take proper care of what we have. The truth is, however, many people neglect proper nutrition and diet. They don't exercise consistently. And they don't make relaxation a priority. So their bodies get run down. They become more susceptible to illness. They get tired and end up having to work harder to keep themselves going.

Most would agree that they could do a better job in taking care of themselves. Oftentimes they know what needs to be done. There is a lot we can do to be our best-to look our best and to feel our best. When we take steps to take care of ourselves physically it also affects our mental and emotional well-being. Our body and mind work together. Our energy is increased as we make positive changes in improving our health. And our attitude and self-esteem is improved as we like the changes we see and feel.

So what is it that keeps people from taking better care of their bodies? For one, it is hard work. Making it a disciplined lifestyle takes motivation and commitment. But it can be done if you will take it one day at a time. Following are some tips to help you develop a healthier lifestyle:


* Begin with short-term goals. Be realistic in your expectations. Small changes over time result in big changes in the long run. Be patient and learn to appreciate and celebrate small victories.


* Picture yourself the way you would want to be. If it is a possibility then it's a matter of doing what needs to be done. Start by believing you can do it. Having faith that it can happen is essential. It keeps you going when you want to give up.


* Find an accountability partner. Having someone to whom you can report how you are doing keeps you motivated. This person can help keep you on track and remind you of the progress you're making when you don't see it. A partner who shares your goals and will join you in achieving them can be especially helpful.


* Establish a routine and be consistent. A new habit can take about six weeks to become a part of your lifestyle. If you have a setback, don't give up. Get back on track as soon as possible. Begin again by setting goals, visualizing your success, believing for it and taking action.

Lifestyle changes don't happen overnight. Whether or not you begin today, three months from now will still come. You can be that much closer to your goals. You can be the best you can be if you make it a priority. How important is your body to you? Are you satisfied with how you are caring for it? How could your life be better if you were to make some changes? You have one body for life. What you do with it now will have lasting results.


Fitness--If it came in a bottle, everybody would have it. ~Cher



Take care of your body with steadfast fidelity. The soul must see through these eyes alone, and if they are dim, the whole world is clouded.  ~Goethe


Health is the thing that makes you feel that now is the best time of the year. ~ Franklin P. Adams


Physical fitness is not only one of the most important keys to a healthy body, it is the basis of dynamic and creative intellectual activity ~ John Fitzgerald Kennedy


Learn to relax. Your body is precious, as it houses your mind and spirit. Inner peace begins with a relaxed body. ~ Norman Vincent Peale




Copyright © 2007 Krystal Kuehn BeHappyforLife.com, NewDayCounseling.org
Maximum Potential, LLC. All Rights Reserved.



Free Ebook Download: Training & Nutrition Insider Secrets for a Lean Body click here



Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC is a professional counselor, author, teacher & musician. She is the cofounder of New Day Counseling, a family marriage counseling & individual and couples counseling center and BeHappy4Life.com, an award-winning, self-help and inspirational site where you can find hundreds of free resources, insights & inspiration.





The BeHappy4Life mission is to empower people to develop a lifestyle of health, happiness & love with self-help tools, activities, resources, insights & inspiration that will change your life.





New Day Counseling provides professional counseling services for individuals, couples, and the entire family. We specialize in all areas of mental health and well-being including depression counseling, anxiety counseling, alcohol addiction counseling, eating addictions, substance and sexual abuse, porn addiction counseling, divorce counseling, grief counseling. We also offer anger counseling groups and parenting classes. Go to NewDayCounseling.org today for more information or call us at 248-649-8050. We are here to help, and we look forward to hearing from you.

4 Simple Steps to a New Perspective & Better Attitude

Recently I had to take on a new responsibility that I was not very pleased with. Actually, I had a bad attitude about it. Once I realized that nothing was going to change unless I did, I decided to change my perspective. I thought about this quote: 

I can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses. It's all how you look at it. J. Kenfield Morley

I decided that I was not going to complain, but instead, I was going to do something about it. This is what I chose to do and it has given me a new and positive perspective:

1. Stop dwelling on what we do not like or wish was different.  Focusing on everything wrong and frustrating about a situation quickly leads to complaining.  We can refocus.

2. Accept what we cannot change. When there is nothing we can do to change things, there is no point in getting all upset.  It only drains our energy which can be better used in finding healthy ways to cope.

3. Change what we can change.  Our actions, attitude, and perspective are all in our control.  When we begin to look at the good things in an unpleasant situation, we may be surprised that we are able to identify some benefits.

4. Choose to have a good attitude.  A good attitude keeps us from focusing on what we do not like or want. Instead, we can think about how we can make the best of the situation and deal with it better. We may find that we can still be happy even when things do not go our way. And, we do not have to give in to feelings of frustration and discontentment.


The power of perspective is amazing. It can completely change our attitude and mood. We have the freedom to choose what we think and focus on. I hope this reminds you to see the good in today.


Today is a New Day and it is good, Krystal

For more on perspective, check out this fun page:
Practice Happiness with a New Perspective


 Just for today, no matter where I am going, or what I am doing, or who I am doing it with, it is my intention to focus on the positive. ~Lucy MacDonald

Copyright © 2007 BeHappy4Life.com. All Rights Reserved





Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC is a professional counselor, author, teacher & musician. She is the cofounder of New Day Counseling, a family marriage counseling & individual and couples counseling center and BeHappy4Life.com, an award-winning, self-help and inspirational site where you can find hundreds of free resources, insights & inspiration.


The BeHappy4Life mission is to empower people to develop a lifestyle of health, happiness & love with self-help tools, activities, resources, insights & inspiration that will change your life.



New Day Counseling provides professional counseling services for individuals, couples, and the entire family. We specialize in all areas of mental health and well-being including depression counseling, anxiety counseling, alcohol addiction counseling, eating addictions, substance and sexual abuse, porn addiction counseling, divorce counseling, grief counseling. We also offer anger counseling groups and parenting classes. Go to NewDayCounseling.org today for more information or call us at 248-649-8050. We are here to help, and we look forward to hearing from you.



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How to Find Peace in a World of "Why?"

Pain and suffering are a part of the human experience. No one is exempt. Tragedies occur leaving us in shock and devastation. Diseases weaken and destroy bodies. The innocent are abused and exploited. Families are broken and hearts are shattered. Losses leave us to grieve and cry out from the depths of our souls, Why? This question is so often directed to the only One who knows the answer. We plead for God to help us to understand. We want to know why He allows people to hurt so badly and suffer unjustly.

Not understanding why people must suffer is the reason many people question the love and sovereignty of God. They reason, “How can a loving God allow such evil? Being all-powerful He could easily stop it if He really cared.” Yet, their questions go unanswered and some deny God or pull away from Him. Sometimes it is for a season and sometimes it is for a lifetime.

Pain and suffering do not have to keep us from seeking God and going to Him with all  of our questions, confusion, pain, and anger. He knows how we feel and what we think. He understands what we are going through. When bad things happen, it does not mean that He is no longer with us or present in our situation. It does not mean He loves us any less or that He doesn’t care. However, it can be very difficult to believe this when we are hurting so badly. But nothing can ever change who God is. He is good no matter what happens. His plans for us are good regardless of how things might appear.

Nothing can ever keep us from His love and grace. They never cease. Only we can keep ourselves from receiving His love and grace. He wants us to know Him and all He has for us. That is why He invites us to draw near to Him and allow Him to draw near to us. He will give us so much more than the answers we think we need. He will give us His love that endures forever. He will give us His peace and will calm our minds. He will comfort our hearts and hold us up. He will be gracious and merciful to us. He will give us beauty for ashes. He will turn our mourning into dancing.

If you have ever asked Why? in the midst of circumstances that are beyond your understanding, you are not alone. When there is no answer or reasonable explanation, the way you handle it will determine how it changes you. You can choose to trust that God is still good, that He restores and comforts, brings healing and inner peace, and helps us learn and grow in the midst of pain and suffering. And most of all, that He is the answer to all that we seek.


Though our feelings come and go, God’s love for us does not. ~ C.S. Lewis

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning. ~ Lamentations

If it were not for hopes, the heart would break. ~Thomas Fuller

We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope.  ~Martin Luther King

My job is to take care of the possible and trust God with the impossible. ~unknown

Sorrow looks back, worry looks around, faith looks up. ~unknown

Worry is a total waste of time. It doesn't change anything.  All it does is taint your mind and steals your joy. You can't have joy without peace, and there is no peace without God. ~unknown




How to Find Peace in a World of "Why?" written by Krystal Kuehn

Copyright © 2007 BeHappy4Life.com. All Rights Reserved







Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC is a psychotherapist, author, teacher & musician. She is the cofounder of New Day Counseling, a family marriage counseling & individual and couples counseling center and BeHappy4Life.com, an award-winning, self-help and inspirational site where you can find hundreds of free resources, insights & inspiration.



The BeHappy4Life mission is to empower people to develop a lifestyle of health, happiness & love with self-help tools, activities, resources, insights & inspiration that will change your life.



New Day Counseling provides professional counseling services for individuals, couples, and the entire family. We specialize in all areas of mental health and well-being including depression counseling, anxiety counseling, alcohol addiction counseling, eating addictions, substance and sexual abuse, porn addiction counseling, divorce counseling, grief counseling. We also offer anger counseling groups and parenting classes. Go to NewDayCounseling.org today for more information or call us at 248-649-8050. We are here to help, and we look forward to hearing from you.



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Opportunity - Do We Wait for It to Knock?

What is opportunity, and when does it knock? It never knocks. You can wait a whole lifetime, listening and hoping, and you will hear no knocking. None at all. You are opportunity, and you must knock on the door leading to your destiny. You prepare yourself to recognize opportunity, to pursue and seize opportunity as you develop the strength of your personality and build a self-image with which you are able to live. ~Maxwell Maltz

Sometimes people wait their entire lives for the right doors to open for them.  They wait passively hoping and wishing something will change. Out of the blue, things will turn around for them. They are good people.  They deserve it.  Maybe they had some bad breaks, but some day good fortune might suddenly fall into their laps.  They just might get lucky, but until then their choices and inaction keep them in a discontented place.  They wish they could have the success that others have.  They can only imagine how nice it must be to have the opportunities others have.  Very rarely, however, do they consider the cost of hard work, strong faith, determination, and persistance.

Most people who are successful in life have paid their dues.  I am talking about truly successful people, not those who have things handed to them and do very little with their opportunities.  Although there is nothing wrong with someone getting a good break because of a connection, that person will only experience the rewards of success when validated for their own efforts, investment, and talent.  Until then, he or she may not feel too successful regardless of how they appear to others.  They too want to know the rewards and self-confidence that come from growing, giving, and fulfilling your destiny.

The good news is that we do not have to wait for opportunity to knock.  We can recognize opportunity, pursue it, and seize it.  We can start knocking on doors right now.  We can take steps to move forward, change, improve, and fulfill our destiny.  We can develop and practice successful habits today!!   What are you waiting for?

Empowering Thoughts & Words of Wisdom:
A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds. ~Francois Bacon

Opportunities? They are all around us.  There is power lying latent everywhere waiting for the observant eye to discover it. ~Orison Swett Marden

It's the man who waits for his ship to come in who's always missing the boat. ~Anonymous

Many an opportunity is lost because a man is out looking for four-leaf clovers. ~Anonymous

The trouble with opportunity is that it always comes disguised as hard work. ~Anonymous

Everyone has a fair turn to be as great as he pleases. ~Jeremy Collier

Your big opportunity may be right where you are now. ~Napoleon Hill

Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity. ~Lucius Annaeus Seneca




Copyright 2011 All Rights Reserved. Written by Krystal Kuehn.
Co-founder of New Day Family Marriage Counseling & BeHappy4Life.com




Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC is a psychotherapist, author, teacher & musician. She is the cofounder of New Day Counseling, a family marriage counseling & individual and couples therapy center and BeHappy4Life.com, an award-winning, self-help and inspirational site where you can find hundreds of free resources, insights & inspiration.


The BeHappy4Life mission is to empower people to develop a lifestyle of health, happiness & love with self-help tools, activities, resources, insights & inspiration that will change your life.


New Day Counseling provides professional counseling services for individuals, couples, and the entire family. We specialize in all areas of mental health and well-being including depression counseling, anxiety counseling, alcohol addiction counseling, eating addictions, substance and sexual abuse, porn addiction counseling, divorce counseling, grief counseling. We also offer anger counseling groups and parenting classes. Go to NewDayCounseling.org today for more information or call us at 248-649-8050. We are here to help, and we look forward to hearing from you.






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How is Happiness Contagious?

We have heard that laughter is contagious, but did you know that happiness is contagious as well? I just read about a 20 year research study that showed a person is 15 percent more likely to be happy if they have a close friend or family member that is happy. It also showed that happy people tend to stick together. This makes perfect sense. I notice that the more I commit to being the best I can be and living a lifestyle of true happiness, the more I am drawn to positive and happy people. It is so nice to be around optimistic people with a good attitude.

Were you ever around someone who points out what is wrong with everything and everyone, gives reasons to worry and fear, and complains about how unfair life is? Or, someone who tells you why you should give up on your goals and dreams because you don’t have what it takes. Negative people can put fear and pessimism in you if you let them. It can be difficult being around them because they tend to create a negative atmosphere as they focus on everything they don't like or that is wrong. Just as happiness and a positive outlook are contagious, so is negativity. It is no wonder that happy, positive people stick together. They try to avoid negative influences because they know how destructive and hopeless they can be.

Positive and happy people are like lights in the world. They brighten our days and bring encouragement and hope wherever they go. I am so thankful for people with positive outlooks. They remind me that life is good. They remind me to enjoy life, laugh more often, appreciate my blessings, believe for the best, trust God, stay full of faith and hope and give thanks always. Being a positive, happy person is a lifestyle. We can develop the habit of being optimistic as I describe in The 9 Habits of Happy People. I am thankful that I can be positive, hopeful, and happy, and make it a habit for life!


A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes.  ~Hugh Downs


Happiness is contagious...when you reflect happiness, then all others around you catch the happy bug and are happy, too. ~Jennifer Leese

Happiness is contagious, spreading to friends and neighbors like a virus. You can give the gift of happiness just by being happy yourself.  ~Susan McMillin






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Copyright 2010 All Rights Reserved. Written by Krystal Kuehn.
New Day Family Marriage Counseling & BeHappy4Life.com





Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC is a psychotherapist, author, teacher & musician. She is the cofounder of New Day Counseling, a family marriage counseling & individual and couples counseling center and BeHappy4Life.com, an award-winning, self-help and inspirational site where you can find hundreds of free resources, insights & inspiration.


The BeHappy4Life mission is to empower people to develop a lifestyle of health, happiness & love with self-help tools, activities, resources, insights & inspiration that will change your life.



New Day Family Counseling provides professional counseling services for individuals, couples, and the entire family. We specialize in all areas of mental health and well-being including depression counseling, anxiety counseling, alcohol, shopping, eating addictions, substance and sexual abuse, transitions, stress, divorce.  We also offer anger classes and parenting classes. Go to NewDayCounseling.org today for more information or call us at 248-649-8050. We are here to help, and we look forward to hearing from you.

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8 Keys to a Healthy Mind & Emotions

We all play an active role in our physical and mental health.  The choices we make every day determine our well-being and our destiny.  I am thankful that there is so much we can do to be our best and enjoy the
qualities and many benefits that come from healthy, hopeful, positive thinking and balanced, stable emotions.

Following are the 8 keys that I have discovered to be essential to a healthy mind and emotions:


1. Get Free from Negativity

A while back I decided that I was going to stay away from as many negative influences as I possibly could. I ended some unhealthy relationships in the process. I realized that being around critical, negative people was not only unpleasant, but it rubbed off on me. Being around more optimistic, hopeful people surrounded me with a positive influence that was energizing and motivating. I can minimize negative influences in my life by making better choices in what I watch and read as well. Good and wholesome, edifying and positive influences help to keep my mind and emotions healthy.


2. Release Worries

Fear, worry, anxiety and depression…They all rob me of inner peace. Whenever I get overwhelmed with stress and its negative effects, I immediately take a time out. I know how discouragement can keep us down if we let it. It leads to self-pity and ultimately to defeat and despair. Years of experience have taught me that bad times don’t last forever. Things that seem so pressing right now are not as important as I make them to be in the big scheme of things. I remind myself: this too shall pass. I slow myself down. I recall the source of my help and the many times I have overcome in the past. I draw on my inner strengths and trust in God to help me. As busyness and distractions subside, I begin to see things from a more realistic and hopeful perspective. I become free of things that once bound me and shook my confidence, threatened my security, and dimmed my hope. I have new courage to take necessary steps for change. I gain wisdom and learn to accept what is not in my control. Peace returns to my mind and heart.


3. Learn From Mistakes

When I make mistakes or say and do things I later regret, I find that I end up with two choices. I can either entertain feelings of guilt, regret, anger, blame, or I can take responsibility, apologize if necessary, and learn from my mistakes and regrets. Beating myself up over something doesn’t really teach me a lesson. It just makes me more upset and frustrated with myself. Realizing this has taught me the importance of forgiving myself and accepting that I am not perfect, no one is. I can extend the same grace to myself as I do to others when they miss it. I don’t want to punish them by constantly reminding them of their mistakes. Nor do I want to reject them for their human weaknesses and imperfections. In the same way, I will not punish myself by holding on to guilt, anger, and regret. I believe we can become better if we will learn from our mistakes and regrets, know when to let them go, and come out better as a result.


4. Value and like yourself

It’s not easy to love others when we do not love ourselves. Once I realized the importance of this simple truth, I decided to stop complaining about the things I didn’t like about who I am. Instead, I started to change the things I could and accept the things I could not change. As a result, I was more able to appreciate myself and my unique God-given gifts and talents. The more I did this, the more I noticed and received the appreciation and love I got from others. My desire to be my best really began to flourish and bring much joy to me. It was simply accepting and liking myself that enabled me to love and bless others with all that I am.


5. Take Control of Your Thoughts

I can choose what I want to think about. Negative thoughts cannot stay if I do not allow them to. It seems the more we focus on something that is bothersome to us, the more if affects our mood and overall outlook. For this reason, I do not spend too much time thinking about life’s disappointments and losses. Instead, I think about how to overcome them and I recall past victories. I have control over my thoughts and I can focus on things that build my faith, make me strong and hopeful, and encourage me. Sometimes I need to remind myself that my thought life is in my control. No one can put thoughts in my mind that I have to receive. I can decide what will stay and what will go. Although I may not be able to control how I feel, I can control what I choose to think and dwell upon and what I choose to do.


6. Forgive and Find Freedom

There is no prison like that of unforgiveness. It keeps us bound to bitterness, resentment, and unhappiness. It hurts us more than it hurts anyone else. For this reason, forgiving is more a benefit to us than it is to the person(s) who hurt us. I have learned that if my willingness to forgive is contingent on apologies or justice, it may never happen. I have to do it for me. It is not easy. Actually, it can be the most difficult thing we ever do for ourselves. Forgiving is a process. It begins with a decision to release whoever or whatever it is we are holding on to. I do this believing that people reap what they sow. You can’t sow thistles and expect to reap daffodils. When people sow deceit, gossip, greediness, selfishness, and so on, they reap its fruit. When I choose to sow forgiveness, I reap peace and freedom. I am thankful that my mind and emotions can heal when I forgive.


7. Know and Experience Love

I believe God is love and when we receive His amazing love, it works miracles in our lives. I once said: The power of love is amazing and never-ending. It can motivate, energize, inspire, and strengthen. Love can do in a person what nothing else can do. Love has the power to revive and change lives, restore relationships, and bring healing. All else may fail, but love never fails. When you think about it, most of the love we know and experience has to do with relationships. That is why I do a great deal of writing on the topic (see The 10 Keys to Happy and Loving Relationships). Love is the foundation of healthy and successful relationships. Love is what we live for. I am thankful for the experience of giving and receiving love.


8. Make True and Lasting Joy a Lifestyle

True and lasting happiness is not something we can pursue as much as it is a lifestyle we live. I have learned that our lives are made up of many habits. Some are good and some are bad. It all shapes who we are and contributes to our well-being and happiness. When we make a deliberate effort to be our best, we find we have to change some things. Since I came to this conclusion, I began to replace some old and bad habits with new and healthy ones. I practiced seeing the glass half full rather than half empty. I practiced patience to keep myself from acting on impulse. I allowed myself to make mistakes rather than be driven by perfection. I learned to relax and be at peace rather than become worried and anxious. It takes determination, self-discipline, and lots of practice to break old habits and establish new ones. Changing and improving our lifestyle is actually shaping our character and becoming our best. I want to fulfill my potential and I realize that the only way to do so is to live a lifestyle of health, happiness, and love. I am thankful that this is possible and I have all the tools I need to be all that I am destined to be. (for more info see The 9 Habits of Happy People)


Far from being exhaustive, the above list is just a start to the many reasons I am thankful for a healthy mind and emotions. In making this list, I am reminded of the very active role I need to take in maintaining good mental health. This list also helped me to identify the many things I can do to keep mentally and emotionally healthy.


Just like the physical body, there are times when we may not be feeling very well. When our bodies are sick, they may need some extra rest, healing, medicine, surgery, or some other attention. When our minds and emotions are going through difficulties, some comfort, support, changes in perception, insight, clarification of distorted thinking, forgiveness, boost in our natural feel good chemicals, counseling, love and unconditional acceptance can really do us some good.


Health is a large word. It embraces not the body only, but the mind and spirit as well;… and not today’s pain or pleasure alone, but the whole being and outlook of a man. – James H. West


Of one thing I am certain, the body is not the measure of healing - peace is the measure. ~George Melton

A sound mind in a sound body is a short but full description of a happy state in this world. ~John Locke
 





Copyright 2010 All Rights Reserved. Written by Krystal Kuehn. New Day Family & Marriage Counseling Center & BeHappy4Life.com






Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC is a psychotherapist, author, teacher & musician. She is the cofounder of New Day Counseling, a family counseling, couples therapy & teen & children therapy center and BeHappy4Life.com, an award-winning, self-help and inspirational site where you can find hundreds of free resources, insights & inspiration.


New Day Family Counseling provides professional counseling services for individuals, couples, and the entire family. We also offer groups for anger counseling and parenting classes. Go to NewDayCounseling.org today for more information or call us at 248-649-8050. We are here to help, and we look forward to hearing from you.






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The One Thing Love Cannot Live Without

We’ve got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant. You can’t just accept it and leave it in the cupboard or just think it’s going to get on by itself. You’ve got to keep watering it. You’ve got to really look after it and nurture it. ~John Lennon

A special day is set aside every year to celebrate the gift of love. During this time we show our appreciation and love for that special someone in our life. We may think up some creative, romantic, and fun ways to express our love and show how much we really care. But celebrating the gift of love just one day or so each year is far from enough. Happy and loving relationships take quite a bit of attention and nurturing on a daily basis.

It is the simple things that show how important our relationships are to us and how much we care about them. We can say, “I love you” in so many ways, but do we do it often enough? We can spend more time together and make it a priority, but is it that important to us? We can do nice things for each other, but do we wait for a special occasion? We can show our appreciation and gratitude for the gift of love we are given, but do we quickly forget and begin taking one another for granted?

John Lennon’s quote above is a beautiful analogy and reminder that our relationships are valuable, and we are to take special care of them if they are to survive and prosper. The gift of love is like a precious plant. A precious plant has many needs like proper nourishment and plenty of light. It cannot be watered just once or twice a year. It needs to be watered often to keep it hydrated and healthy. In the same way, our loving relationships are precious. They require lots of special care and attention. They cannot be left to themselves in hopes that they will grow and prosper. Happy and loving relationships don’t just happen. They take plenty of nurturing.*   As we celebrate the gift of love this year, may we remember that it is a precious gift that needs to be looked after every day and all year round. Happy Valentine’s Day!!

Life's greatest happiness is to be convinced we are loved. ~Victor Hugo

Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.  To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night. To wake at dawn with winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving. ~Kahlil Gibran



Copyright © 2011 Krystal Kuehn. All Rights Reserved.
New Day Family Counseling & Couples Counseling Center & BeHappy4Life.com





 


*For more on how to nurture, improve, and have successful relationships go to: The 10 Keys to Happy and Loving Relationships (or pdf)




..



Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC is a psychotherapist, author, teacher & musician. She is the cofounder of New Day Counseling, a family marriage counseling and teen child therapy center, BeHappy4Life.com, an award-winning, self-help and inspirational site where you can find hundreds of free resources, insights & words of inspiration to change your life, and Baby-Poems.com where you can find beautiful baby poems, baby quotes, cute sayings & baby videos that will touch your heart & increase your joy & gratitude for the children you love & enjoy! Krystal is also author of The 10 Keys to Happy and Loving Relationships and several blogs: Give Thanks Journal, Baby Poems blog & Be Your Best blog.

 
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Empowering Way to Start a New Day!

Words to Live By
The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours - it is an amazing journey - and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins. ~Bob Moawad


The Greatest Handicap - Fear
The Best Day - Today
Easiest Thing to Do - Find Fault
Most Useless Asset - Pride
The Greatest Mistake - Giving Up
The Greatest Stumbling Block - Egotism
The Greatest Comfort - Work Well Done
Most Disagreeable Person - The Complainer
Worst Bankruptcy - Loss of Enthusiasm
Best Teacher - One Who Makes You Want to Learn
Greatest Need - Common Sense
Meanest Feeling - Regret at Another's Success
Best Gift - Forgiveness
Greatest Knowledge - God
Greatest Thing in the World - Love
(from Jim Pierce's Big Golden Trumpet Encyclopedia)

I love words of wisdom and inspirational quotes because they are truly motivating and empowering. They can encourage, strengthen and direct us. I had the following words of wisdom in my music binder. On occasion I will stop and read through them. Today was one of those days. And as always, they really inspired me. I started my morning by saying that today is a good day, and I decided I was going to do my part to make it good. And in these words to live by, I was reminded that today is not just another day, it is the best day! Yes, it is the best day because we can choose to believe it is. We can choose to make it good by the way we think, behave, and relate to others and our world. We can choose to give thanks for what we have, what we can learn, and what we can give. We can choose to recognize and appreciate each new day as a gift and give thanks for all that is good. This attitude is truly the very best way to start our day. It empowers us to do our part to live life to the fullest.

I was also reminded that fear is the greatest handicap. It keeps us from maximizing our potential and being our best. It leads us to the greatest mistake of giving up. It can also cause us to become a complainer (the most disagreeable person) if we are not careful. Once we get into complaining, we are out of gratitude. Complaining and gratitude cannot coexist! And if we are not thankful, we will not experience true joy and peace. A lack of joy hampers our enthusiasm for life, for our relationships, work, etc. And a loss of enthusiasm is certainly the worst bankruptcy. The unfortunate thing is that we do it to ourselves.

Another value I thought was especially empowering is the best gift--forgiveness. I was reminded that this is a gift we give to ourselves. Forgiveness is more about us than it is about who or what hurt us or offended us. Not only do we forgive and find freedom, we also receive forgiveness and experience grace and love which are truly life-changing. Yes, forgiveness is the best gift! There is so much more I can say about this and maybe I will in a future article.

The greatest knowledge--I agree 100% is God. I believe there is no greater knowledge, experience, or relationship we can ever have. I couldn't even imagine life without God and for this I am most grateful! His love is the greatest thing in the world, for He is love. To know Him is to know love, an ongoing life experience. His love is like no other--it is so deep, so wonderful, so beautiful, so empowering.

May you be blessed by these words to live by and let them empower you to be your best and give thanks for today and always!


Copyright © 2011 Krystal Kuehn. All Rights Reserved.
New Day Family Counseling Marriage Counseling Center & BeHappy4Life.com




Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC is a psychotherapist, author, teacher & musician. She is the cofounder of New Day Counseling, a family couples counseling, children counseling and teen counseling center, BeHappy4Life.com, an award-winning, self-help and inspirational site where you can find hundreds of free resources, insights & words of inspiration to change your life, and Baby-Poems.com where you can find beautiful baby poems, baby quotes, cute sayings & baby videos that will touch your heart & increase your joy & gratitude for the children you love & enjoy! Check out Krystal's other blogs: Give Thanks Journal, Baby Poems blog and Be Your Best blog!





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The Best Way to Make Yourself & Others Happy

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give. ~Winston Churchill

We live in a give-and-take society. When we give, we usually expect to get something in return. But sometimes we give for the sheer joy of giving. We don’t expect anything in return. It just makes us feel good to know that our giving has made a positive impact; it has helped in some way or it has made someone happy.

A devastating tornado hit close to where David and his family lived but they were very fortunate that they didn’t get much damage. However, only miles away there was severe destruction along the path the tornado touched. David and a few volunteers quickly went to see if they could offer their help to the families in need. They spent the next couple weeks cleaning, painting, rebuilding homes and lives. David sacrificed many hours of his time but when he looked into the teary eyes of those they helped and saw such gratitude and hopefulness, it was all worth it.


When we give freely and what we are able, we usually find that we have more to give than we had realized. We might have our service and help to give, as well as our time, attention, or finances. When we give our best and we give it willingly, we can’t help but get something in return and often that something is happiness.

Affirmations:

No matter how big or small my giving is, it enlarges my capacity for happiness.

I will PRACTICE happiness today….by giving freely and cheerfully.


Empowering Thoughts:

Give to the world the best you have and the best will come back to you. ~Madeline Bridges

Give cheerfully and freely. It is the energy behind the giving that matters so do not give grudgingly. ~David Gikandi

There is more happiness in giving than receiving. ~Acts 20:35






Copyright © 2011 Krystal Kuehn and Violet James, New Day Family and Couples Counseling Center. All Rights Reserved. 

Happiness is Found in Giving was taken from 55 Words of Inspiration for a New Day  by Krystal Kuehn and Violet James



Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC is a psychotherapist, author, teacher & musician. She is the cofounder of New Day Counseling, a family marriage counseling and child teenage counseling center, BeHappy4Life.com, an award-winning, self-help and inspirational site where you can find hundreds of free resources, insights & words of inspiration to change your life, and Baby-Poems.com where you can find beautiful baby poems, baby quotes, cute sayings & baby videos that will touch your heart & increase your joy & gratitude for the children you love & enjoy! Krystal is also author of The 10 Keys to Happy and Loving Relationships and several blogs: Give Thanks Journal, Baby Poems blog & Be Your Best blog.




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