Are You Master or Victim of Your Attitude?

We are either the masters or the victims of our attitudes. It is a matter of personal choice. Who we are today is the result of choices we made yesterday. Tomorrow, we will become what we choose today. To change means to choose to change. ~John Maxwell

What kind of thoughts come to your mind when you think about your life? How about your family, your work, your future? Suppose your thoughts could change your destiny. Would you want to change or improve any of them?

We might believe our thoughts just happen, and we don’t consider the fact that we can choose to stop certain thoughts and refocus. We can choose what we accept and meditate on, and we can choose what we resist and reject. Our thoughts shape the attitudes that direct our lives. We make decisions based on our attitudes and beliefs.

Thoughts lead to other related thoughts. When they are hopeful and positive, we develop a good attitude. Likewise, a bad attitude results when a habit of negative thoughts dominate our thinking. For example, suppose you feel hurt that your friend didn’t come to your birthday party. You might begin to think that it is because it isn't important to her. That thought may lead you to wonder if she really likes you. Maybe you did something to offend her. Maybe there is something wrong with you. You feel angry and rejected. You dwell on the offense and have a bad attitude. If you hold on to it, feelings of rejection may lead to bitterness toward your friend.  It may even lead to a desire for retaliation.  It is common to reject others when we feel rejected.

Hurt and angry feelings affect our choices and attitudes. We might not be able to control how we feel, but we can control how we direct our thoughts. Suppose you were to stop the negative cycle after feeling hurt by your friend. There could be many good reasons why she wasn't able to join you. Maybe it had nothing to do with you.  You can choose to not take it personal if you know she wouldn't intentionally want to hurt you.  You can choose to not dwell on the offense and negative feelings. You can refocus. If it really bothers you, talk to her about it.  In doing so, you just may find out that you had the wrong idea all along.  This happened to a woman I know.  She never received the invitation sent by her friend.  It was somehow lost in the mail.  Her friend assumed she got the invitation and chose not to come.  It was months until she discovered why her friend had a bad attitude and pulled away from her. 

Our thinking patterns become habits and attitudes. Optimism and pessimism are the result of the kinds of thoughts we choose to dominate our thought life and perspective. If we were to live by these words of wisdom, we would spare ourselves of the negativity that keeps us from fulfilling our potential and purpose: Fill your mind and meditate on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. (Philippians 4:8).

We can choose to occupy our minds with the best in people or situations, rather than the worst. We can choose to see the beauty and splendor of every rose rather than its thorns and ugliness. We can notice and praise what is right and good rather than dwell on mistakes or problems. We can hold on to hope rather than submit to despair. We can appreciate and embrace what we have and all that is before us rather than live in regret of the past. We can choose to live today as best as we can because that is all we have right now.

Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference. ~Winston Churchill

The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes of mind. ~~ William James

It’s your choice: you can either count your blessings or recount your disappointments. ~Jim Gallery

We shouldn’t deny the pain of what happens in our lives.  But, we should refuse to focus only on the valleys. ~Charles Swindoll

Pain is inevitable, but misery is optional. ~Max Lucado

 

Copyright © 2008, 2010 BeHappy4Life.com  All Rights Reserved.


Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC is a psychotherapist, author, teacher & musician. She is the cofounder of New Day Counseling, a family couples counseling and child teen counseling center, BeHappy4Life.com, an award-winning, self-help and inspirational site where you can find hundreds of free resources, insights & words of inspiration to change your life, and Baby-Poems.com where you can find beautiful baby poems, baby quotes, cute sayings & baby videos that will touch your heart & increase your joy & gratitude for the children you love & enjoy! Check out Krystal's other blogs: Give Thanks Journal, Baby Poems & Be Your Best blog.



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Life Lessons That Set Us Free

True learning can take place at every age of life, and it doesn't have to be in the curriculum plan. ~Suzanne Dale Ezell

It's already September and it's back to school for children as well as adults pursuing higher education. As I was thinking about education, I thought about how we have so many opportunities to continue to learn every single day. If we stop learning, we stop living. Not only does learning help us grow, develop new skills, and prepare us for work and service, but it helps us to know and appreciate life and our world.
 
I see education as a gift that leads us to freedom and insight. With education, we can become free of bad habits by learning what steps to take for real change. We can develop new skills by getting the necessary instruction we need. We can make better choices by getting direction that guides our path. We can maximize our potential as we learn more and put into practice what we already know. We can learn and relate to others better by learning from our mistakes.
 

We are never too young or too old to learn something new. We just need to apply ourselves, listen, and learn. I believe education is freedom because the truth sets us free. Ignorance leads to bondage and keeps us from becoming all we can be. Let's encourage our children to value education and do their best. Develop a love for learning. Show respect for those who teach us. Seek wisdom, knowledge, and discernment. Learn from the experiences of everyday life. Let mistakes be life lessons. Let problems push us to learn and find solutions. Let challenges motivate us to conquer. And let us be thankful that life is an ongoing education. Living is a learning experience!

May we all have another blessed year of learning and growing!   Krystal

Education is not a preparation for life; education is life itself. ~John Dewey

Education comes from within; you get it by struggle and effort and thought. ~Napoleon Hill

The difference between school and life? In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson. ~Tom Bodett

Life Lessons Exercise:

At the end of each day, write down 2-3 things you have learned throughout the day. It can be anything. You may have gained greater insight into something you already had some knowledge about. You may have learned an inspiring truth or a sad reality. You may have learned how to be or not to be from someone else's example. You may have learned a simple lesson from another person's good luck or misfortune. You may have learned that you are more special and loved than you had realized. The list never ends.

This simple exercise can be very empowering. It can help us to recognize and appreciate our daily life experiences. It can help us to grow and become better than we were as we reflect and allow ourselves to learn from all life has to teach us.

Life is a journey and an educational experience. What have you learned today?


Life Lessons That Set You Free
Copyright © 2008, 2010 BeHappy4Life.com. All Rights Reserved

Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC is a psychotherapist, author, teacher & musician. She is the cofounder of New Day Counseling, a family marriage counseling and child teen counseling center, BeHappy4Life.com, an award-winning, self-help and inspirational site where you can find hundreds of free resources, insights & words of inspiration to change your life, and Baby-Poems.com where you can find beautiful baby poems, baby quotes, cute sayings & baby videos that will touch your heart & increase your joy & gratitude for the children you love & enjoy! Check out Krystal's other blogs: Give Thanks Journal, Baby Poems & Be Your Best blog.



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How Much Are You Worth Today?

Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do. ~Bill Bradley

Opportunities to give and help are everywhere. If we just look around us, someone somewhere could use a kind word today. Someone needs to know that they are loved.

Someone is struggling financially and there is something we can do to help if even a little. Someone simply needs a hug. Someone wants to be heard and given some time and attention.

It might cost us time, money, stepping out of our comfort zone, or sacrificing our own needs, but the rewards of giving are priceless. When we give, we reap the joy of of seeing a bright smile, laughter, tears, joy, and gratitude. Giving is one of the best way to share our joy, love, and goodness for life!

I’d like to share a story with you that I believe is a great illustration of the value of giving, loving, sharing, and doing today!

A rich man once asked a friend, "Why am I criticized for being miserly? Everyone knows I will leave everything to charity when I die." "Well," said the friend, "let me tell you about the pig and the cow. The pig was lamenting to the cow one day about how unpopular he was."

"People are always talking about your gentleness and kindness," said the pig. "Sure you give milk and cream, but I give more. I give bacon, ham, bristles. They even pickle my feet! Still, nobody likes me. Whis is this?" The cow thought a minute, then replied, "Well, maybe it is because I give while I am still living."

I love that story! Is it any wonder why everyone loves the cow? It's not how much the cow gave, but the very fact that the cow gave what it could here and now. The pig boasted about how much he would give when he died and that was his excuse for being miserly in the present. The pig was missing out on so much joy that comes from giving that he envied the cow's popularity. What a great lesson to learn and apply about giving and making a difference today, while we still can!

Following are several questions to help you reflect on your giving:

* Would others describe you as a giver, taker, generous, miserly? Why?

* When was the last time that you gave someone a gift, compliment, your time, or anything? How did it make you feel?

* What was your attitude in giving? Did you hope for or expect a particular response or reaction?

* Do you feel people owe you something when you give to them?

* Can you be more giving? How? What are you waiting for?

You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give. ~ Kahlil Gibran

Giving is the lifeblood of happy living. ~ Todd Parrish

I encourage you to bless someone today.
And may you be blessed with the true joy of giving!


Copyright © 2008, 2010 Krystal Kuehn, New Day Counseling Center. All Rights Reserved.

The manner in which it is given is worth more than the gift. ~Pierre Corneille

It is more blessed to give than to receive. ~Acts 20:35

 
Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC is a psychotherapist, author, teacher & musician. She is the cofounder of New Day Counseling, a family marriage counseling and children counseling center, BeHappy4Life.com, an award-winning, self-help and inspirational site where you can find hundreds of free resources, insights & words of inspiration to change your life, and Baby-Poems.com where you can find beautiful baby poems, baby quotes, cute sayings & baby videos that will touch your heart & increase your joy & gratitude for the children you love & enjoy! Check out Krystal's other blogs: Give Thanks Journal,  Baby Poems & Be Your Best blog.


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